The Silent Superhero Trap: How Bottling Up Stress Spikes Cortisol and Fuels Burnout

Let me take you back to my childhood, perched on the windowsill of our two-story house in Patna. Outside, the streets buzzed with rickshaws honking and vendors haggling.

But inside? Silence.

Not the peaceful kind, but the heavy, suffocating silence where no one spoke about their struggles.

My father worked unpredictable shifts, often coming home late at night, while my mother quietly kept the household running despite frequent power cuts and a tight budget. No arguments, no raised voices—just an unspoken agreement to carry on as if everything was fine.

But here’s what I’ve learned since then: bottling up emotions isn’t brave—it’s dangerous. It raises something called cortisol, a hormone your body releases when it senses stress. Cortisol is helpful in small doses; it gives you energy to handle emergencies.

Read “The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout“ book for more

But when you constantly suppress your feelings, your brain thinks there’s always danger lurking around the corner. Over time, elevated cortisol levels wreak havoc on your health. They leave you anxious, exhausted, and prone to burnout.

This realization became the foundation of my journey toward understanding stress relief—and ultimately led me to write The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout. This book isn’t just another self-help manual filled with quick hacks. It’s a deeply personal exploration of how hiding stress harms us and why open dialogue is essential for true resilience.

Through stories from my own life and insights gained over two decades in tech leadership roles, I’ll show you how to break free from the cycle of silence and create a healthier, more balanced life.

The Cost of Hiding Stress

Growing up, I saw firsthand how pretending everything was okay could only last so long. At first, it seemed noble—like we were sparing each other unnecessary worry. But beneath the surface, tensions simmered. Debts piled up, relationships strained, and smiles grew increasingly forced. By the time cracks appeared, they were too big to ignore. That’s when I realized: silence doesn’t solve problems—it amplifies them.

Science backs this up. When you keep your emotions bottled up, your body stays in a state of high alert. Your heart races, your muscles tense, and your mind becomes foggy. Chronic stress takes a toll on both your physical and mental health. Studies link prolonged exposure to high cortisol levels with conditions like anxiety, depression, insomnia, and even cardiovascular disease. Yet, many of us continue to hide our struggles because we fear being judged or seen as weak.

In my career, I’ve witnessed countless professionals fall into this trap. Whether it’s a manager quietly shouldering the weight of impossible deadlines or an employee smiling through overwhelming workloads, the pattern is the same: we tell ourselves that staying silent will protect those around us. But in reality, it isolates us further and leaves us vulnerable to burnout.

Breaking Free from the Cycle

So, how do you break free from this destructive habit? The answer lies in embracing vulnerability. Yes, vulnerability—a word that might make some people cringe. But hear me out. Being vulnerable doesn’t mean airing every detail of your life to everyone you meet. It means acknowledging your struggles and sharing them with trusted individuals who can offer support. It’s about replacing silence with meaningful conversations.

One of the most transformative moments in my life came when I finally opened up about my stress. I was going through a particularly rough patch at work, juggling multiple responsibilities and feeling completely overwhelmed. Instead of keeping it to myself, I decided to confide in a close friend. Just saying the words out loud lifted a tremendous weight off my shoulders. Their perspective helped me see solutions I hadn’t considered before, and together, we brainstormed ways to tackle the challenges I faced.

That experience taught me the power of connection. When you share your burdens, you lighten the load—not just for yourself, but for those around you. Opening up creates space for empathy, collaboration, and mutual growth. It strengthens relationships and fosters a sense of belonging. Most importantly, it lowers cortisol levels and promotes genuine stress relief.

A Framework for Everyday Resilience

Of course, breaking the cycle of silence isn’t easy. It requires intentionality and practice. That’s why The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout provides actionable strategies to help you build resilience step by step. These aren’t vague suggestions—they’re practical tools designed to fit seamlessly into your daily routine.

For example, one technique I recommend is conducting a weekly “stress debrief.” Set aside 15 minutes to reflect on the past week. What went well? Where did you feel overwhelmed? Write down your thoughts and identify patterns. Then, pick one small action you can take to address a recurring issue. Maybe it’s setting clearer boundaries at work or scheduling regular check-ins with loved ones. The key is consistency. Over time, these small changes add up to significant improvements.

Another powerful strategy is creating safe spaces for emotional check-ins. If you’re a leader, encourage your team to share their concerns without fear of judgment. Make it clear that vulnerability is valued and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. For individuals, find a trusted colleague or mentor you can turn to when things get tough. Having someone in your corner makes all the difference.

Why This Book Matters

What sets The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout apart is its holistic approach. Burnout isn’t caused by a single factor—it’s a web of interconnected stressors. Work demands, financial pressures, relationship dynamics, and personal expectations all play a role. To truly thrive, you need to address these areas simultaneously.

Through candid storytelling and evidence-based advice, I’ll guide you through identifying your unique triggers and implementing sustainable solutions. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, manage finances, nurture relationships, and leverage technology to reduce overwhelm. Along the way, I’ll share lessons from my own experiences—from navigating toxic workplaces to building a fulfilling career without sacrificing my well-being.

But this book isn’t just for individuals. Leaders will also find valuable insights into fostering supportive environments where employees feel empowered to speak up. Together, we can dismantle the culture of silence that fuels burnout and replace it with one of transparency, empathy, and resilience.

A Call to Action

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve felt the weight of hidden stress.

Maybe you’ve struggled to balance work and personal life.

Perhaps you’ve watched colleagues suffer in silence or wondered how to create a healthier workplace culture.

Whatever your situation, know this: change starts with you.

Take the first step today.

Start small—whether it’s naming one source of stress, reaching out to a friend, or simply giving yourself permission to rest. Every action counts. And remember, you don’t have to face these challenges alone. The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout is here to walk alongside you, offering guidance and encouragement every step of the way.

Together, let’s rewrite the narrative around stress and burnout. Let’s move beyond the myth of the lone crusader and embrace the power of connection. Because thriving isn’t about doing it all on your own—it’s about finding strength in community and courage in vulnerability.

Ready to begin your journey?

Pick up a copy of The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout and discover how to thrive at work without losing your mind. Share with your friends in need.

Your future self will thank you.

Small Steps, Big Impact: How Tiny Changes Can Save You From Meltdown Mode

Burnout has become an epidemic.

It sneaks up on us—not just through long hours at work but through the silent accumulation of stressors that often go unnoticed until they explode into full-blown crises.

For most of my career, I thought burnout was simply about “working too hard.” But what if it’s more than that?

What if burnout isn’t just about overwork but is instead a complex web of factors—work-related challenges, personal relationships, and financial instability—that silently erode our mental health and resilience?

That’s why I wrote The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout . This book reframes how we think about and tackle burnout. Unlike other self-help books that focus narrowly on workplace productivity hacks or mindfulness exercises, my guide takes a holistic approach. By addressing the interconnected nature of work, life, and finances, it serves as both a burnout book and a comprehensive stress guide , equipping readers with actionable strategies to navigate modern-day pressures effectively.

Read “The No-BS Guide to Beating Burnout” for more

The Hidden Roots of Burnout

At its core, burnout is more than exhaustion; it’s a systemic breakdown caused by prolonged exposure to unmanaged stress. As I explain in the preface, my journey from surviving chaotic workplaces to thriving despite them revealed a critical insight: real burnout stems not from one source but from multiple overlapping stressors. These include:

1. Workplace Demands : Excessive workloads, toxic cultures, forced rankings, and relentless deadlines.

2. Emotional Strain : Personal heartbreaks, strained relationships, and unresolved family conflicts.

3. Financial Instability : Debt, unexpected expenses, scams, or lack of emergency savings.

Each of these domains can independently create tension. However, when combined, their impact amplifies exponentially, leaving me—and countless others—vulnerable to collapse. This understanding forms the foundation of my framework, which emphasizes tackling all three areas simultaneously rather than isolating any single factor.

For instance, imagine someone working 60-hour weeks while dealing with mounting credit card debt and navigating a rocky marriage. Even if they manage to improve their time management skills at work (a common recommendation in traditional stress guides), their overall well-being remains precarious because the root causes haven’t been addressed holistically. That’s why The No-Nonsense Guide stands out—it doesn’t offer quick fixes but instead provides a roadmap for sustainable change across every aspect of life.

A Framework Rooted in Real-Life Stories

One of the most compelling aspects of this burnout book is its reliance on authentic storytelling. Throughout the introduction and subsequent chapters, I share raw anecdotes from my own career—from surviving toxic managers during my early days in India to grappling with the intense demands of Amazon Web Services (AWS). I also draw upon experiences shared by colleagues, friends, and even historical examples, such as families enduring the Great Depression who believed silence was protective yet unknowingly bred resentment and anxiety.

These stories serve two purposes: first, they validate the reader’s struggles, reminding them they’re not alone. Second, they illustrate practical solutions embedded within relatable contexts. For example, I recount how documenting instances of excessive metrics-driven pressure helped me propose balanced alternatives to leadership teams. Similarly, I highlight how small rituals like weekly check-ins with loved ones fortified my emotional resilience during turbulent times.

By weaving together personal narratives with evidence-based research, I create a narrative arc that feels both deeply human and rigorously analytical. Readers don’t just learn what to do—they understand why certain habits work and how to adapt them to their unique circumstances.

Beyond Work: Addressing Life’s Invisible Stressors

While much of the conversation around burnout centers on workplace dynamics, I make a powerful case for expanding our lens. In Chapter 8 (This Time It’s Personal ), I explore how relationship-driven burnout can exacerbate professional stress. Drawing parallels between romantic breakups and job meltdowns, I argue that emotional anchors—whether partners, friends, or family members—are crucial buffers against overwhelm. Without these supports, even minor office friction can feel insurmountable.

Similarly, financial instability emerges as another hidden culprit. In Chapter 9 (Money Matters ), I recount losing significant savings to crypto scams and how this experience overshadowed all other achievements in my life. My takeaway? No amount of career success can shield you from the anxiety of unpaid bills or depleted bank accounts. To combat this, I advocate for building emergency funds, automating savings, and resisting get-rich-quick schemes—all practical steps that align with advice found in bestsellers like Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki and The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey.

By integrating insights from psychology, finance, and organizational behavior, The No-Nonsense Grip to Beating Burnout transcends typical self-help fare. It positions itself as a true stress guide , offering tools to fortify every corner of your life against potential triggers.

Actionable Strategies for Every Reader

What sets this burnout book apart is its emphasis on actionability. Each chapter concludes with clear, step-by-step instructions designed to help readers implement changes immediately. Some standout takeaways include:

• Micro-Breaks : Taking short pauses throughout the day to reset mentally. Research cited in the book shows that surgeons who incorporated one-minute breaks every 20–40 minutes experienced less discomfort and maintained sharper focus without extending procedure times.

• Weekly Stress Debriefs : Setting aside 10–15 minutes each week to reflect on unresolved issues and brainstorm solutions. This habit prevents small annoyances from snowballing into major problems.

• Reality Checks : Regularly evaluating specific areas of your life (e.g., finances, health) to identify discrepancies before they escalate.

• Relationship Anchors : Building strong emotional connections outside of work to buffer against professional stress. Simple practices like scheduling regular coffee chats with a spouse or friend can make a world of difference.

These strategies aren’t just theoretical—they’re backed by data and real-world applications. For instance, companies like Slack have experimented with “Rest and Revive” initiatives encouraging employees to disconnect briefly during the day. Results showed a 21% increase in reported productivity and dramatic improvements in stress management.

Why This Book Matters Now More Than Ever

The timing of The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout couldn’t be better. With remote work blurring boundaries between home and office, economic uncertainty fueling financial anxieties, and social isolation straining personal relationships, the need for a comprehensive stress guide has never been greater. According to recent surveys, nearly 72% of Americans report feeling stressed about money, while studies link chronic overwork to increased risks of depression, cardiovascular disease, and even premature death.

Moreover, corporate layoffs—a growing concern amid global economic shifts—further compound the problem. Survivors of downsizing events often experience plummeting morale, reduced motivation, and declining productivity. Yet few resources exist to address the multifaceted fallout of such upheavals. My book fills this gap by providing a blueprint for resilience that applies equally to individual contributors and executive leaders.

Final Thoughts: A Lifeline for Modern Professionals

If there’s one message readers should take away from The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout , it’s this: burnout isn’t inevitable. By recognizing the interconnectedness of work, relationships, and finances—and taking proactive steps to address each area—we can reclaim control over our lives. Whether you’re battling endless deadlines, navigating a failing partnership, or struggling to build financial security, this burnout book offers a lifeline.

As I poignantly remind myself in the closing pages, “Burnout isn’t a personal failing—it’s a systemic issue.” And solving it requires a systemic response. So whether you’re reading this as an employee seeking relief or a leader aiming to foster a healthier workplace culture, remember: the tools are here. All you need to do is start using them.

Because burnout thrives in silence. Let’s dismantle it together.

Buy the book now on Amazon

How to Stay Grounded When Your Company’s Reorgs and Layoffs Are a Hot Mess

Burnout isn’t just a buzzword. It’s the quiet crisis gnawing at the edges of our lives—eroding passion, fracturing relationships, and leaving even the most ambitious among us feeling hollow. After years of navigating toxic workplaces, financial scams, and the crushing weight of “hustle culture,” I wrote this book to answer a urgent question: Why does burnout keep winning?

Why I Wrote This Book

Burnout found me in the unlikeliest places—a call center in India , a chaotic startup , and even Amazon’s high-pressure halls . I’ve stared down bullhorn bosses, survived forced rankings, and rebuilt my life after losing savings to crypto scams. But here’s what I learned: Burnout isn’t your fault . It’s a systemic issue, woven from threads of workplace chaos, emotional neglect, and financial instability.

Yet most “solutions” treat burnout like a solo battle—just meditate more, set boundaries, or quit your job . But what if your entire ecosystem is broken? What if your team’s metrics are a treadmill, your company’s “family” culture is a Trojan Horse, and your emergency fund is one crisis away from collapse?

This book exists because I refused to accept half-truths . Burnout isn’t a personal failure—it’s a web of systemic failures, and it demands a holistic fix .

What’s Inside

The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout isn’t a self-help fluff piece. It’s a playbook forged in the fire of real crises :

1. The “Web of Factors” Framework : Burnout isn’t just overwork. It’s the collision of toxic workplaces, emotional isolation, and financial fragility. Learn to untangle them.

2. Stories That Mirror Your Struggle : From surviving a manager who weaponized “family” to losing savings in a crypto rug pull, these raw narratives validate your pain—and light a path forward.

3. Actionable Tools for Every Layer :

   • Work : Crush Groundhog Day cycles with iterative releases and post-mortem reviews.

   • Life : Build emotional resilience with “micro-joy” rituals and safe-space check-ins.

   • Finances : Automate savings, spot scams, and let compounding shield you from chaos.

4. Tech Hacks for the Overwhelmed : Leverage AI to slash busywork, reclaim 10+ hours weekly, and protect your mental bandwidth.

Why This Matters Now

The World Health Organization calls burnout an “occupational phenomenon,” but it’s worse in tech. We’re drowning in always-on Slack channels, arbitrary metrics, and the myth that “grinding = growth.” Leaders preach empathy but enforce RTO mandates. Employees fake smiles while their savings vanish to scams.

This book is a rebellion. It’s for anyone who’s ever felt:

• Crushed by “fail fast” cultures that reward recklessness.

• Guilty for prioritizing mental health over “hustle.”

• Trapped in cycles of stress they can’t name.

Praise for the Book

Tom Laszewski (Global Account Strategist, AWS) calls it:
“A guiding light for anyone navigating the complexities of modern work. Sanjeet’s blend of vulnerability and pragmatism is a breath of fresh air.”

Sourav Nayyar (Engagement Director, NTT DATA) adds:
“This isn’t just a book—it’s a survival manual. Sanjeet’s insights on systemic burnout are revolutionary.”

Join the Movement

Burnout thrives in silence. Let’s dismantle it together.

The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout has released on Amazon.

Your sanity isn’t negotiable. Let’s rewrite the rules of work, life, and resilience.

👉 Buy Now on Amazon

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” —Rumi

The No-Nonsense Guide to Beating Burnout: How to thrive at work without losing your mind

By Sahay, Sanjeet

Buy on Amazon

Why I Wrote Yet Another System Design Book (And Why You’ll Thank Me Later)

Tired of system design books that bore you to death or leave you clueless?

Curious how I turned my Amazon petabyte-scale secrets into a book you can’t put down?

Listen up.

The world didn’t need another system design book.

Shelves are already stuffed with dry, jargon-filled tomes that either overwhelm you with complexity or skip the part where you actually get it.

So why the hell did I write System Design Foundations? Because I was sick of watching smart people—like you—stumble over the same damn problems I’ve spent decades solving. I’ve been mentoring tech pros for years, interviewed thousands at Amazon, and built systems that chew through petabytes of data like it’s breakfast.

And here’s the truth: most books out there suck at teaching this stuff. They’re either written for PhDs who already know it or leave you stranded without a map.

I wrote this book to fix that—and here’s why it’s worth your time. And I call it "System Design Foundations for Humans". Because why not? It is written for humans, exactly the way they talk and communicate.

The Problem: No One’s Teaching the Basics Right

Picture this: you’re a fresh computer science grad, diploma in hand, ready to crush it. You can write code in your sleep—loops, functions, all that jazz.

But then someone says, “Design an app for a million users.” Blank stare. Panic sets in. You’ve got no clue where to start because college taught you how to build a toy car, not a freaking highway system. I’ve seen it over and over mentoring newbies—they’re brilliant at the small stuff but lost when it scales. And it’s not their fault.

The books out there? They’re either too advanced—assuming you’re already a system design ninja—or too vague, leaving you with buzzwords but no backbone.

I’ve spent years at Amazon, wrestling with applications that process terabytes daily—think millions of jobs churning through data bigger than your entire Netflix watch history.

I’ve interviewed thousands—grads, mid-level devs, even senior folks—and the gap’s always the same: no one taught them the fundamentals of system design. Not the “here’s a fancy algorithm” kind—the “how do I make this thing grow, stay up, and not explode” kind.

That’s criminal. So I decided to stop whining and start writing.

The Spark: Mentoring Showed Me the Truth

Here’s where it hit me.

I’ve been mentoring pros for career growth and interview prep—folks just like you, hungry to level up. Some were fresh grads, eyes wide, drowning in imposter syndrome. Others were mid-career, stuck because they couldn’t crack the system design nut. I’d sit with them, break down problems—like “How do you store a billion URLs?”—and watch their faces light up when I used a pizza shop analogy instead of some sterile diagram.

They’d go from “I’m lost” to “Oh, that’s it?” in minutes. That’s when I knew: the problem isn’t them—it’s the tools they’re given.

Most system design books are like handing a newbie a 500-page manual on quantum physics and saying, “Figure it out.”

Or they’re so high-level you’re left nodding at “scalability is good” without knowing how.

I’ve built systems that handle petabyte-scale chaos—real-life monsters processing data you can’t even imagine. I’ve grilled candidates on everything from load balancers to failover plans. And I kept thinking: why isn’t there a book that starts where these folks are—zero to hero, no BS, just the good stuff? That’s why I wrote this one.

The Fix: Analogies, Examples, and No Boring Crap

Let’s be real—tech books can be a snooze fest.

Pages of theory, no soul, just endless terms like “sharding” or “replication” with zero context. I’m not here to bore you to death.

I wrote System Design Foundations with tons of analogies and examples because that’s how you actually learn. Why talk about servers when I can show you a lemonade stand growing from one table to a city-wide chain? Why drone on about databases when we can imagine a pizza shop juggling orders? These aren’t just cute stories—they’re how I’ve explained this stuff to mentees for years, and they stick.

This book takes everything I’ve learned—decades at Amazon, thousands of interviews, petabyte-scale systems—and boils it down to what matters: the fundamentals.

How do you start a design?

How do you grow it?

How do you keep it running when the world’s watching?

It’s not about fancy jargon—it’s about giving you a mental map to build systems that scale, stay tough, run fast, and lock out hackers. From picking the right database to handling a million users crashing your app, I’ve stripped it to the essentials and made it fun.

No fluff, no filler—just the meat.

The Payoff: You’ll Win Where Others Lose

Here’s the deal: system design isn’t some mystical art for geniuses—it’s a skill anyone can learn with the right guide.

Most folks crash and burn in interviews because they don’t know the “ceremony”—ask questions, sketch a plan, nail the details.

They guess, fumble, and pray. Not you. This book hands you the playbook I’ve used to mentor grads into rockstars and prep pros for Amazon-level grilling. You’ll walk into that interview room—or Zoom call—and own it, step by step, while others sweat bullets.

And it’s not just about interviews. This is your foundation to build real apps—ones that don’t buckle under pressure or leave you scrambling when they grow.

I’ve seen the difference it makes: mentees who once stared blankly at “design a URL shortener” now confidently map out systems like pros. That’s the power of starting simple and building up, with examples you can actually picture.

So, why another system design book?

Because you deserve better than boring or confusing. I wrote this with my Amazon scars, mentoring heart, and a pile of analogies to make it click. It’s not just a book—it’s your ticket to stop guessing and start winning. Grab it, read it, use it. You’ll thank me later when you’re crushing interviews or building your own empire.

Let’s do this!

The book will be available on Amazon in March 2025.

Are you willing to make that 800K bet? Top 20 Meta Engineering Manager Interview Questions You Can’t Afford to Miss!

The top 20 Meta Engineering Manager coding interview questions cover basic to medium difficulty, focusing on programming skills rather than production-quality code.

What if one question could make or break your shot at a Meta Engineering Manager role?

Imagine sitting across from a Meta interviewer, whiteboard marker in hand, with 45 minutes to prove you’ve still got the coding chops—despite years of managing teams. Nerve-wracking, right?

Now picture this: you nail every problem they throw at you, from matrix tricks to tree traversals, because you’ve prepped the exact questions that Meta loves to ask.

The truth is, Meta doesn’t expect production-ready code from Engineering Managers—but they do demand sharp problem-solving under pressure.

Ready to unlock the top 20 coding questions that could land you the job? Let’s dive in and crack the code together.

Your Cheat Sheet to Meta’s Coding Gauntlet

Think Meta Engineering Manager interviews are all about leadership chats and system design? 

Think again. Hidden in the process is a coding curveball—a 45-minute test of your algorithmic grit. No, they’re not expecting you to churn out flawless production code (phew!), but they will grill you on LeetCode-style puzzles to see if you can still think like an engineer. We’re talking matrix mazes, string-crunching conundrums, and tree-traversal brain teasers—plus a sneaky code review twist that’ll keep you on your toes. 

In this post, we’ve crunched the data from candidate war stories, insider tips, and Meta’s own playbook to bring you the top 20 coding questions you’ll face. From easy array hacks to medium-level mind-benders, this is your no-fluff guide to acing the technical round and snagging that Meta gig.

Let’s get coding!

Key Points

• The top 20 Meta Engineering Manager coding interview questions cover basic to medium difficulty, focusing on programming skills rather than production-quality code.

• Questions include matrix operations, string manipulations, tree traversals, and array calculations, with some specific to Meta's interview process.

• Expect a mix of easy and medium LeetCode-style problems, with some unique questions like finding bugs in code.

Interview Overview

Meta's coding interviews for Engineering Managers assess your ability to apply basic programming skills to solve problems, rather than expecting production-quality code. These interviews typically last 45 minutes and are part of a broader interview process that includes technical and non-technical rounds. The questions are designed to evaluate problem-solving, communication, and coding efficiency, often similar to LeetCode medium-level challenges.

Common Topics

The questions span various topics such as:

• Matrix and Array Operations: Finding rows with maximum 1’s, array products, and moving zeroes.

• String Manipulations: Removing duplicates, pattern matching, and basic calculations.

• Tree and Graph Problems: Tree depth, diameter, and traversals.

• Bit Manipulation: Counting bits in integers efficiently.

Comprehensive Analysis of Meta Engineering Manager Coding Interview Questions

This section provides a detailed examination of the top 20 coding interview questions for Engineering Manager positions at Meta, based on extensive research from various sources including interview preparation platforms, candidate experiences, and expert analyses. The focus is on understanding the nature of these questions, their relevance to the role, and how they align with Meta's interview process.

Background and Context

Engineering Managers at Meta are expected to lead teams, oversee technical projects, and ensure the success of engineering initiatives. While their primary role involves leadership and people management, technical proficiency remains crucial, especially in coding interviews. Meta's interview process, as outlined in resources like IGotAnOffer, includes coding assessments to evaluate basic programming skills, not production-quality code. This is evident from candidate reports on platforms like Glassdoor and Reddit, which highlight that coding interviews are part of the onsite rounds, typically lasting 45 minutes and involving 2-3 questions.

The coding interview is designed to assess problem-solving abilities, communication skills, and the ability to write clean, efficient code, as noted in Exponent. For Engineering Managers, the bar is set to ensure they can understand and guide their teams on technical matters, which is why coding questions, while not as complex as those for software engineers, still cover fundamental data structures and algorithms.

Methodology

To compile this list, we analyzed multiple sources:

• Specific Questions for Managers: From IGotAnOffer and Prepfully, which provided examples like finding the row with the most 1’s in a matrix and array product except self.

• General Meta Coding Questions: From Design Gurus, which listed 20 coding problems commonly asked at Meta, categorized by difficulty.

• Candidate Experiences: Reddit posts and Glassdoor reviews, such as r/leetcode, which discussed the coding interview process for managers, often comparing it to LeetCode medium and hard levels.

• Common Coding Interview Questions: From Hackerrank, which provided a broad list but was filtered for relevance to Meta's standards.

We prioritized questions that align with the "basic programming skills" focus for managers, as mentioned in IGotAnOffer, and ensured a mix of easy and medium difficulty to reflect the expected level.

The Top 20 Meta Engineering Manager Coding Questions

Here’s your ultimate list of the top 20 coding challenges for Meta Engineering Manager interviews, complete with problem statements, sample inputs, and expected outputs. These span the essentials—matrices, strings, trees, and more—testing your ability to solve problems cleanly and efficiently. Let’s dive in:

1. Toeplitz Matrix  

1. Category: Matrix Operations  

2. Difficulty: Easy  

3. Problem Statement: Given an m x n matrix, determine if it’s a Toeplitz matrix, where every diagonal from top-left to bottom-right has the same elements.  

4. Valid Input: matrix = [[1,2,3,4], [5,1,2,3], [9,5,1,2]] (3x4 matrix)  

5. Expected Output: true (Each diagonal—e.g., 1,1,1; 2,2,2—has identical values)  

6. Why It Matters: Tests basic matrix traversal, key for guiding teams on grid-based tasks.

2. Remove All Adjacent Duplicates In String  

1. Category: String Manipulation  

2. Difficulty: Easy  

3. Problem Statement: Given a string s, remove all adjacent duplicate characters repeatedly until no more removals are possible.  

4. Valid Input: s = "abbaca"  

5. Expected Output: "ca" (Remove "bb" → "aaca", then "aa" → "ca")  

6. Why It Matters: Assesses string handling, vital for debugging text-processing issues.

3. Minimum Depth of a Binary Tree  

1. Category: Tree Traversal  

2. Difficulty: Easy  

3. Problem Statement: Find the minimum depth of a binary tree—the shortest path from the root to a leaf node.  

4. Valid Input: root = [3,9,20,null,null,15,7] (Tree: 3 root, 9 left, 20 right, 15 and 7 as 20’s children)  

5. Expected Output: 2 (Shortest path: 3 → 9)  

6. Why It Matters: Evaluates tree navigation, crucial for system design discussions.

4. Tree Diameter  

1. Category: Tree Traversal  

2. Difficulty: Easy  

3. Problem Statement: Compute the diameter of a binary tree—the length of the longest path between any two nodes.  

4. Valid Input: root = [1,2,3,4,5] (Tree: 1 root, 2 left, 3 right, 4 and 5 as 2’s children)  

5. Expected Output: 3 (Path: 4 → 2 → 1 → 3)  

6. Why It Matters: Tests tree structure understanding, relevant for design oversight.

5. Island Perimeter  

1. Category: Graph/Grid  

2. Difficulty: Easy  

3. Problem Statement: Given a row x col grid where 1’s represent land and 0’s water, calculate the perimeter of an island (land cells connected 4-directionally).  

4. Valid Input: grid = [[0,1,0,0], [1,1,1,0], [0,1,0,0], [1,1,0,0]]  

5. Expected Output: 16 (Count edges: 4 per land cell, minus 2 per shared edge)  

6. Why It Matters: Assesses grid traversal, useful for infrastructure tasks.

6. Move Zeroes  

1. Category: Array Manipulation  

2. Difficulty: Easy  

3. Problem Statement: Given an array nums, move all 0’s to the end while maintaining the relative order of non-zero elements. Do this in-place.  

4. Valid Input: nums = [0,1,0,3,12]  

5. Expected Output: [1,3,12,0,0]  

6. Why It Matters: Tests basic array skills, ensuring you can handle simple coding.

7. Missing Ranges  

1. Category: Array Manipulation  

2. Difficulty: Easy  

3. Problem Statement: Given a sorted integer array nums and bounds lower and upper, return all missing ranges as strings.  

4. Valid Input: nums = [0,1,3,50,75], lower = 0, upper = 99  

5. Expected Output: ["2","4->49","51->74","76->99"]  

6. Why It Matters: Tests range logic, relevant for data processing oversight.

8. Rank Transform of an Array  

1. Category: Array Manipulation  

2. Difficulty: Easy  

3. Problem Statement: Given an array arr, replace each element with its rank (1-based) based on its value, with larger values getting higher ranks.  

4. Valid Input: arr = [40,10,20,30]  

5. Expected Output: [4,1,2,3] (10=1, 20=2, 30=3, 40=4)  

6. Why It Matters: Evaluates ranking skills, useful for data analysis guidance.

9. Palindrome Permutation  

1. Category: String Manipulation  

2. Difficulty: Easy  

3. Problem Statement: Check if a string s can be rearranged into a palindrome (at most one character with an odd count).  

4. Valid Input: s = "aabb"  

5. Expected Output: true (Can form "abba" or "baab")  

6. Why It Matters: Assesses pattern recognition, great for code reviews.

10. Diagonal Traverse  

1. Category: Matrix Operations  

2. Difficulty: Medium  

3. Problem Statement: Given an m x n matrix, return all elements in diagonal order (top-left to bottom-right, alternating directions).  

4. Valid Input: matrix = [[1,2,3], [4,5,6], [7,8,9]]  

5. Expected Output: [1,2,4,7,5,3,6,8,9]  

6. Why It Matters: Tests complex traversal, matching Meta’s medium-level bar.

11. Maximum Swap  

1. Category: Number Manipulation  

2. Difficulty: Medium  

3. Problem Statement: Given a non-negative integer num, swap two digits at most once to get the maximum possible value.  

4. Valid Input: num = 2736  

5. Expected Output: 7236 (Swap 2 and 7)  

6. Why It Matters: Evaluates optimization, key for performance talks.

12. Custom Sort String  

1. Category: String Manipulation  

2. Difficulty: Medium  

3. Problem Statement: Given a string order and string s, permute s so characters follow the custom order in order.  

4. Valid Input: order = "cba", s = "abcd"  

5. Expected Output: "cbad" (c, b, a per order, then d)  

6. Why It Matters: Tests sorting logic, crucial for algorithm guidance.

13. Buildings With an Ocean View  

1. Category: Array/Stack  

2. Difficulty: Medium  

3. Problem Statement: Given an array heights of building heights, return indices of buildings with an ocean view (no taller building to their right).  

4. Valid Input: heights = [4,2,3,1]  

5. Expected Output: [0,2,3] (4, 3, 1 see the ocean)  

6. Why It Matters: Assesses stack skills, vital for scalability discussions.

14. Basic Calculator II  

1. Category: String Parsing  

2. Difficulty: Medium  

3. Problem Statement: Given a string s with numbers and operators (+, -, *, /), evaluate it (multiplication/division before addition/subtraction).  

4. Valid Input: s = "3+2*2"  

5. Expected Output: 7 (2*2=4, then 3+4=7)  

6. Why It Matters: Tests parsing, relevant for API design oversight.

15. Dot Product of Two Sparse Vectors  

1. Category: Array/Math  

2. Difficulty: Medium  

3. Problem Statement: Given two sparse vectors (mostly 0’s), compute their dot product efficiently.  

4. Valid Input: vec1 = [1,0,0,2,3], vec2 = [0,3,0,4,0]  

5. Expected Output: 8 (10 + 03 + 00 + 24 + 3*0 = 8)  

6. Why It Matters: Evaluates efficiency, important for data processing.

16. Find the Row with the Most 1’s in a Matrix Where Each Row Starts with 1’s Followed by 0’s  

1. Category: Matrix Operations  

2. Difficulty: Medium  

3. Problem Statement: Given a binary matrix where each row is sorted (1’s then 0’s), find the row index with the most 1’s.  

4. Valid Input: matrix = [[1,1,0], [1,0,0], [1,1,1]]  

5. Expected Output: 2 (Row 2 has three 1’s)  

6. Why It Matters: A Meta-specific test of matrix analysis, key for leadership.

17. Fastest Way to Count the Number of Bits in a 32-bit or 64-bit Integer  

1. Category: Bit Manipulation  

2. Difficulty: Easy-Medium  

3. Problem Statement: Given an integer n, count the number of 1 bits in its binary representation efficiently.  

4. Valid Input: n = 13 (Binary: 1101)  

5. Expected Output: 3 (Three 1’s)  

6. Why It Matters: Tests bit operations, essential for optimization talks.

18. Determine if a String Matches a Pattern  

1. Category: String Matching  

2. Difficulty: Easy-Medium  

3. Problem Statement: Given a string s and a pattern p with letters and wildcards (., *), check if s matches p.  

4. Valid Input: s = "aa", p = "a*"  

5. Expected Output: true (* matches zero or more ‘a’s)  

6. Why It Matters: Assesses pattern matching, useful for regex guidance.

19. Array Product Except Self  

1. Category: Array Manipulation  

2. Difficulty: Medium  

3. Problem Statement: Given an array nums, return an array where each element is the product of all other elements. No division allowed.  

4. Valid Input: nums = [1,2,3,4]  

5. Expected Output: [24,12,8,6] (e.g., 24 = 234)  

6. Why It Matters: Tests array computation, a Meta interview classic.

20. Continuous Subarray Summing to Multiple of k  

1. Category: Array/Dynamic Programming  

2. Difficulty: Medium-Hard  

3. Problem Statement: Given an array nums and integer k, find the length of the longest subarray whose sum is a multiple of k.  

4. Valid Input: nums = [23,2,4,6,7], k = 6  

5. Expected Output: 4 (Subarray [2,4,6,7] sums to 19, 18 from 2,4,6 is 6*3)  

6. Why It Matters: Evaluates complex subarray logic, great for algorithm discussions.

Analysis and Insights

The selection process involved ensuring that the questions reflect the "basic programming skills" focus for Engineering Managers, as highlighted in IGotAnOffer. For instance, questions like "Find bugs in a chunk of Objective C code" were considered but excluded as they are more code review tasks, not standard coding problems. Instead, we included questions like "Fastest way to count the number of bits," which is an easy-to-medium bit manipulation problem, aligning with the expected level.

The inclusion of specific Meta questions, such as "Find the row with the most 1’s," from IGotAnOffer, ensures relevance to the role. The Design Gurus list, while general for Meta, was filtered to include only easy and medium questions for the first 15, supplemented by the specific questions to reach 20, ensuring a mix that matches candidate experiences on Reddit and Glassdoor.

A surprising detail is the inclusion of code review tasks, like finding bugs, which tests debugging skills rather than algorithmic coding, as seen in candidate discussions on Glassdoor. This is less common but important for managers to guide their teams on code quality.

Preparation Tips

You should focus on practicing these questions on platforms like LeetCode, using resources like Design Gurus for solutions and explanations. Given the 45-minute duration, as mentioned in Exponent, time management is key, especially for medium and hard questions like "Continuous subarray summing to multiple of k." Communication skills are also critical, as interviewers assess how you explain your thought process, as noted in Reddit posts like r/leetcode.

Conclusion

This list provides a robust foundation for preparing for Meta Engineering Manager coding interviews, covering essential topics and aligning with the company's focus on basic programming skills. You should practice these questions, focusing on clarity and efficiency, to succeed in your interviews.

Key Citations

• IGotAnOffer Meta Engineering Manager Interview

• Prepfully Meta Engineering Manager Guide

• Design Gurus Top 20 Coding Questions

• Exponent Meta Interview Process

• Glassdoor Meta Engineering Manager Questions

• Hackerrank Coding Interview Questions

Why Burnout in Tech Isn’t Inevitable—And What We Can Do About It

Burnout in tech often appears like an unavoidable cost of building the future: we push through late-night sprints, keep Slack close at hand, and tell ourselves it’s just “part of the job.” But does it really have to be this way?

I’m here to argue it doesn’t. In the course of researching a no-BS guide on beating burnout, I found that the biggest driver isn’t coding or deadlines alone, but the flawed mindset that burnout is a necessary evil. By challenging that assumption, we can rewrite how innovation happens—no all-nighters or mental breakdowns required.

Why Burnout in Tech Isn’t Inevitable—And What We Can Do About It

First, Know the Signs Before It’s Too Late

Real burnout rarely pops up overnight. It creeps in: headaches that become constant, a vague morning dread that won’t lift, or small coding errors that pile up. Many of us brush it off as “just a busy week” until it morphs into deeper exhaustion. Spotting the early signs—like feeling numb toward tasks or finding it impossible to switch off—makes all the difference. Once you’ve identified even slight red flags, take them seriously. A simple, consistent self-check can keep your energy from hitting rock bottom.

Second, Challenge the Always-On Culture

Yes, technology moves fast. But racing at top speed all the time just isn’t sustainable. If you’re a developer, setting real boundaries—shutting Slack after a certain hour, or taking a genuine break each weekend—can actually improve your focus and longevity in your role. If you’re a team lead, mapping out a fair on-call rotation or capping sprint scopes avoids the stealth damage of never-ending demands. High performance doesn’t mean high stress; it means working smarter, not living glued to a screen 24/7.

Third, Remember Why You Started

Many of us got into tech because we loved solving problems, building cool stuff, and seeing ideas come to life in code. Burnout kills that spark. Reconnecting with the original excitement—learning a new framework, tinkering with side projects—often revives the sense of purpose. If a daily grind erodes your passion, try small breaks to re-explore what excites you, from open-source contributions to a quick tutorial on a new library. This short mental shift can help you see your role as an evolving journey rather than a downward spiral of tasks.

Finally, Stay Tuned for Practical Tools

Across the pages of my upcoming book, I’ll share actionable frameworks—easy daily mindfulness, boundary-setting templates, and manager strategies for building healthier team cultures. Each chapter offers steps that you can integrate right away, whether you’re battling personal stress, managing a newly trimmed squad after layoffs, or simply trying not to drown under a sprint backlog. You don’t need to wait for a meltdown to address burnout. By catching the sparks before they turn into a raging fire, you preserve the creative energy that made you love tech in the first place.

Watch this space for more previews in the coming weeks.

Burnout isn’t the badge of honor we’ve made it out to be—it’s a solvable challenge. If you’re ready to code, innovate, and push boundaries without sacrificing your sanity, you’ll want to check out the guide once it’s published. Until then, take a breath, shut off Slack at a reasonable hour, and remind yourself: great ideas thrive when you’re at your best, not at your most exhausted.

Why the Best Mentors Refuse to Give Answers (And What They Do Instead)

The Common Misconception

We often assume that the best mentors are those who dispense wisdom like vending machines: insert question, receive definitive answer. But research consistently shows a surprising drawback. When people are handed answers, they may feel momentarily satisfied—but they rarely become better at thinking for themselves. In fact, they often develop a kind of “answer dependency,” looking to the mentor for every solution rather than building their own capacity to troubleshoot.

Instead, top mentors recognize that sustainable learning happens when mentees wrestle with problems, formulate hypotheses, and arrive at their own conclusions. It’s a process that fosters deeper engagement, stronger retention, and a sense of ownership over the outcomes. The paradox here is that a mentor’s authority may actually grow when they hold back from micromanaging someone’s thought process. By embracing the mindset of asking instead of telling, mentors can spark curiosity—an essential ingredient in driving real growth.

In short, the misconception is that mentors should operate as answer providers. The truth? Asking questions is the subtle superpower that helps mentees learn to think more independently, creatively, and critically.

Best mentors ask questions (image courtesy Led Lasso from imdb.com)

The Downside of “Expert” Advice

We tend to admire mentors who always have the “right” answer at their fingertips. It’s reassuring—until it isn’t. By focusing on delivering solutions, these mentors might unintentionally disempower their mentees. Instead of prompting mentees to explore, reflect, and draw insights, they lock them into a pattern of waiting for direction.

This creates three critical blind spots:

• Information Overload: Constantly handing out answers can flood mentees with ideas they haven’t earned through discovery. Research in learning psychology shows that when people don’t actively problem-solve, they retain less and lose motivation to dig deeper.
• Dependency Cycle: If mentees come to rely on an “expert” for every solution, they never build resilience or a personal sense of agency. Instead of growing into self-sufficient thinkers, they linger in the shadow of their mentor.
• The Ego Trap: Mentors who crave recognition for their expertise might feel good playing “fix-it guru,” but they risk stifling their mentees’ autonomy. Ironically, this doesn’t build respect—it fosters a dynamic where the mentor’s ego inflates at the expense of genuine mentee development.

By stepping back from the role of “answer machine” and leaning into curiosity, top mentors avoid these pitfalls. They recognize that enduring growth isn’t about perfectly packaged wisdom; it’s about nurturing a mindset that thrives on questioning, exploration, and genuine insight.

Why Questions Are So Powerful

Research in organizational psychology points to a critical insight: when individuals generate their own ideas, they’re far more likely to remember, internalize, and act on them. This is the magic of inquiry. When a mentor poses a thought-provoking question, it triggers the mentee’s cognitive processes to dig deeper—sparking everything from innovative brainstorming to crucial self-awareness.

A well-placed question can accomplish what a lecture never can: a shift in mindset. Instead of passively consuming knowledge, mentees become active participants in their own learning. By encouraging them to consider different angles, mentors help mentees see overlooked possibilities and explore uncharted territory in their thinking. This process builds independence because each discovered insight feels earned rather than bestowed. And from a motivational standpoint, it taps into a fundamental human need—to learn and master new skills on our own terms.

In short, great mentors don’t dominate the conversation with the “right” answers. They guide mentees to find—and own—their unique insights. The result is a richer, more enduring learning experience that fosters resilience, curiosity, and a genuine hunger for growth.

The Contrarian Mentorship Approach

At first glance, it seems counterintuitive: shouldn’t mentors just tell us how it’s done? Yet, top mentors know better. They understand that the best route to unlocking someone’s potential is by guiding them toward self-discovery, not spoon-feeding them with instructions. It feels paradoxical—like a teacher who encourages students to challenge the syllabus rather than memorize it.

In practice, this looks like an open-ended conversation:

• Ask Before You Explain: Start every session with prompts that push the mentee to articulate what they believe or know. The goal isn’t to catch them off-guard, but to draw out their assumptions and thought processes.
• Build a Culture of “I Don’t Know Yet”: Contrarian mentors celebrate uncertainty. When mentees say, “I’m not sure,” it’s a signal for deeper inquiry, not a failure to be fixed.
• Roadmaps, Not Blueprints: Instead of handing over detailed how-to instructions, they offer a roadmap of possibilities. This fosters a sense of ownership as mentees navigate the terrain themselves.

The contrarian angle might feel like you’re withholding help, but in reality, you’re empowering mentees to craft their own answers. That autonomy ignites deeper learning, creativity, and—crucially—accountability for the outcomes. By challenging the traditional mentor-mentee dynamic, you develop a more equal partnership built on curiosity and mutual respect.

Real-World Examples

• Business Case: Picture a startup founder mentor employing the “5 Whys” technique—each question digs deeper into the core problem. Instead of prescribing an immediate fix, they inspire the mentee to uncover systemic issues. Over time, the mentee becomes more strategic, tackling root causes instead of patchwork solutions.
• Personal Development: A fitness coach who starts every session by asking, “What do you think caused that plateau?” rather than “Here’s the exact meal plan and workout you need.” This line of questioning pushes the mentee to reflect on habits, triggers, and motivations. The result? They learn how to course-correct on their own—even when the coach isn’t around.
• Tech/Engineering: Imagine a senior developer mentoring a junior colleague. Instead of demonstrating the correct syntax off the bat, they challenge the junior with prompts like, “Why might your current approach be inefficient?” or “What alternatives can you think of?” The junior dev walks away not just with a line of code, but with a method for problem-solving that scales to future challenges.

In all these cases, the mentor’s questions serve a bigger purpose: fostering independence. By nudging mentees to outline their thinking, they’re instilling the belief that mentees have the capacity to handle—and solve—these issues themselves. And that’s when real growth happens.

Practical Strategies for Mentors

• Adopt an “Inquiry Mindset”: Prepare a set of open-ended questions before each session. They don’t have to be complicated, but they should spark curiosity. Think “What assumptions are you making?” or “What outcomes do you imagine?”
• Practice Active Listening: Instead of jumping in with a “better” solution, listen closely to the mentee’s reasoning. A short pause after they speak often uncovers deeper insights they may not realize they have.
• Focus on Process Over Results: Rather than racing to the finish line—where you deliver the fix—keep the conversation aimed at how they arrived at their current approach. Encouraging reflection on the process builds resilience and adaptability.
• Teach the “Why”: If you do provide guidance, explain the reasoning behind it. Let the mentee see how you’re connecting the dots, so they can replicate that skill in future situations.

By weaving these strategies into mentoring sessions, you shift from a one-way lecture to a collaborative exploration. That dynamic not only cultivates problem-solving prowess, but also fosters a deeper bond of trust and respect between mentor and mentee.

Rebuttals & Misconceptions

1. “Aren’t Mentors Supposed to Provide Answers?”

Many people believe a mentor’s job is to hand out solutions like candy. But that’s a quick fix. In organizational psychology, there’s a clear distinction between offering answers and fostering long-term growth. A great mentor resists the urge to play superhero, recognizing that real transformation happens when mentees own the process.

2. “But Mentees Just Want the ‘Right Way’”

It’s true—mentees may expect step-by-step guidance. Sometimes they’re pressed for time or feeling vulnerable. The mentor’s role is to reframe that expectation: yes, you can offer direction, but real learning demands collaboration and introspection. By involving the mentee in the solution-finding process, you equip them to solve future problems independently.

3. “This Approach Undermines My Credibility”

There’s a fear that asking questions rather than dispensing advice might make you seem less authoritative. Ironically, the opposite is true. Leaders who admit they don’t have all the answers—and instead invite exploration—gain deeper respect. Mentees see them as open-minded, confident, and genuinely invested in growth.

By addressing these objections head-on, mentors reinforce a powerful message: the goal isn’t to position yourself as an infallible oracle. It’s to empower mentees to become self-reliant thinkers. That shift unlocks potential, for both sides.

The Ripple Effect: Long-Term Benefits

When mentors prioritize questions over quick answers, the benefits extend far beyond the immediate problem at hand:

• Mentee Independence: As mentees learn to guide their own thinking, they become more resourceful. This reduces the “mentor dependency” cycle and fosters genuine self-confidence.
• Scalable Mentorship: If each mentee grows into a more independent thinker, mentors can invest their time in bigger challenges—or mentor more people without spreading themselves too thin.
• Stronger Collaboration: When a mentor encourages exploration, the mentee often reciprocates with greater trust and openness. That leads to deeper conversations and more creative problem-solving.
• Lasting Impact: A question-focused approach imparts skills mentees can apply far beyond the original discussion—like adaptability, critical thinking, and the willingness to question assumptions.

In essence, a single shift in strategy—asking rather than telling—can spark a chain reaction of personal growth, team synergy, and organizational innovation. It’s not just about solving today’s problem; it’s about cultivating a mindset that thrives on exploration and self-discovery, one question at a time.

Conclusion & Call to Action

By now, it’s clear that handing out answers might feel satisfying in the moment, but it can stunt long-term growth. When top mentors swap the role of “answer-provider” for “question-asker,” they unleash a potent force: the mentee’s own curiosity. That curiosity sparks deeper thinking, genuine ownership, and a capacity to learn that extends beyond any single challenge.

Call to Action: The next time you mentor or coach someone, try asking a question before you offer a solution. Notice how they react—how they start to process the problem on their own. Then decide if you really need to give them the answer, or if guiding them to discover it themselves will create more lasting impact. That’s how you turn a short-term fix into a life-long skill.

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7 Reasons Why Feedback Matters More Than Practice in Interview Prep

Practice doesn’t make perfect—it makes permanent.

If you’re practicing the wrong way, every repetition only solidifies your mistakes.

The key to interview success isn’t just more practice—it’s the right feedback.

I would know because as a senior Engineering Leader at Amazon, I have coached and mentored 1000+ people in the last decade at Amazon and beyond.

7 reasons why feedback matters more than practice in interview prep

1. Is Practice Making Your Mistakes Permanent?

Repetition without reflection can solidify errors. Are you practicing, or just perfecting bad habits?

Imagine you’re rehearsing for an interview, answering common questions repeatedly. You feel prepared because you’ve memorized your responses. But in reality, no one has told you that your answers lack depth, fail to showcase your achievements, or meander off-topic.

Practice alone reinforces bad habits: If you consistently structure your answers poorly, repetition will only make those mistakes permanent.

Blind spots remain hidden: Without a fresh perspective, you won’t know if your tone sounds arrogant, your examples lack relevance, or your storytelling fails to connect with the interviewer.

A case in point: A candidate once spent hours rehearsing responses for behavioral questions. They practiced alone, confident in their ability to explain past successes. But in the actual interview, they realized too late that their responses came across as rehearsed and insincere. Practice had ingrained, not improved, their approach.

2. Why Feedback is Your Secret Weapon

Feedback uncovers blind spots and shows you where to focus. Are you practicing with a purpose or in the dark?

Now picture a different scenario. After your first mock interview, a coach points out that your responses are vague. They suggest specific examples, help you structure answers using the STAR method, and advise you to focus on impact rather than process. You rework your answers, practice again, and this time, they shine.

Feedback identifies blind spots: A mentor or peer can tell you where your responses lack clarity or confidence.

It sharpens focus: Constructive criticism helps you prioritize what matters most to interviewers—outcomes and ownership.

Consider this: Feedback from a single mock interview helped one candidate pivot from general anecdotes to targeted stories showcasing leadership. The difference? They landed the job, and their interviewer later cited their clarity and confidence as standout traits.

3. Mock Interviews: Your Best Training Ground

Want to prepare for the real thing? Mock interviews expose weaknesses and build resilience under pressure.

Think about the nerves that creep up before an interview. Mock interviews are the rehearsal space where those jitters are tamed, and mistakes are caught before they matter most.

Simulate real pressure: A mock interview replicates the actual setting, preparing you for the stress of the moment.

Reveal weaknesses: In one session, you might realize you freeze on technical questions or struggle with behavioral ones. Better here than in the real deal.

Consider this: A student once practiced solo for weeks but couldn’t handle live follow-ups in their first mock session. With feedback, they adapted, building the composure to think on their feet—a skill that clinched their next interview.

4. Always Ask: What Did I Do Wrong?

Don’t leave an interview without learning something. Feedback after failure is the fastest path to success.

Interviews aren’t a one-and-done event. Each one is an opportunity to grow, but only if you’re open to learning from it.

Post-interview feedback matters: Even if you don’t get the job, ask for feedback. What went well? What didn’t?

Create a feedback loop: Continuously improve with every attempt.

Consider this: A candidate who consistently requested feedback after interviews improved their STAR responses over time. What began as rambling answers transformed into concise narratives, each iteration inching closer to perfection.

5. Practice Without Feedback? Stop Wasting Your Time

Practice only works when paired with direction. Are you improving—or just spinning your wheels?

Repetition is only valuable if it’s paired with reflection. Feedback doesn’t just tweak your approach—it overhauls it when necessary.

Practice without direction is wasted effort: Spending hours on ineffective answers just reinforces bad habits.

Feedback accelerates improvement: A 10-minute critique can highlight what hours of practice miss.

Consider this: One engineering candidate discovered through feedback that their technical explanations were overly detailed. After adjusting, their responses became precise, impressing the panel with clarity rather than complexity.

6. Learn from the Best: Feedback is Essential

The world’s top performers, from Bill Gates to Elon Musk, credit feedback as their key to growth. Are you taking their advice?

Bill Gates said it best: "We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve." Leaders across industries agree that feedback is the foundation of success.

Ken Blanchard calls feedback 'the breakfast of champions.'

Elon Musk emphasizes its necessity for innovation: "A feedback loop is critical to think about how you can improve."

If the world’s most successful people rely on feedback to refine their approaches, why would interviews be any different?

7. Combine Feedback with Practice for Results

It’s not one or the other. Feedback shapes your practice; practice locks in your improvements. Are you balancing both?

It’s not an either-or scenario. The real magic happens when feedback and practice work together.

Feedback refines your approach: It tells you what to focus on.

Practice solidifies improvements: It ensures you’re ready when it matters.

Consider this: A software engineer preparing for a big tech interview used feedback from mock sessions to tailor their preparation. They practiced hard, but only on the areas identified as weaknesses. The result? They breezed through technical and behavioral rounds, securing a dream offer.

Always Remember: Feedback transforms practice from a shot in the dark to a targeted journey toward excellence. It sharpens, directs, and accelerates growth, making it the single most critical factor in interview preparation success.

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Why Your Mentor Isn’t Helping: 5 Coaching Frameworks Every Mentee Should Demand

Don’t settle for generic advice—demand a mentor who transforms potential into results.

Top 5 Coaching Frameworks Every Mentor Should Master

Great mentorship isn’t about giving answers—it’s about asking the right questions and guiding others to find their own solutions. Over the years, I’ve found that successful coaching relies on frameworks that provide structure while leaving room for flexibility. Let me share the top five coaching frameworks I believe every mentor should master, along with real stories that demonstrate their impact.

You must demand a mentor who transforms potential into results

GROW Model

The GROW model—Goal, Reality, Options, and Way forward—is a classic for a reason. I remember coaching Sarah, a young professional overwhelmed by too many career options. She wanted to switch industries but didn’t know where to start. We began by defining her goal: to transition into tech within six months. Then, we explored her reality—her current skills and experience weren’t aligned with the roles she wanted. Next, we brainstormed options, from taking online courses to leveraging her network. Finally, we set actionable steps. By breaking the process into these clear phases, Sarah gained focus and confidence. Six months later, she landed a role in her dream industry.

Situational Leadership

One size does not fit all in coaching. The Situational Leadership framework emphasizes adapting your approach based on the individual’s development level. Take Raj, for example, a mentee who was new to management. At first, he needed clear direction and hands-on guidance. But as he grew more comfortable, my role shifted to providing support and encouragement. Eventually, he became highly competent and needed little intervention. Understanding when to lead, coach, or delegate is crucial to empowering mentees at every stage of their growth.

Solution-Focused Coaching

Sometimes, people get stuck focusing on problems instead of possibilities. I remember working with Elena, who was frustrated by a difficult boss. Instead of dwelling on what wasn’t working, I used solution-focused coaching to shift her perspective. I asked, “What would a successful relationship with your boss look like?” That simple question opened a floodgate of ideas. She identified actions she could take to improve communication and align on expectations. Within weeks, her relationship with her boss improved, and her overall performance soared. Focusing on solutions unlocks progress.

Feedback Framework

Constructive feedback can make or break a coaching relationship. I use a simple framework: Start with strengths, address areas for improvement, and end with encouragement. One mentee, James, struggled with public speaking. After a presentation, I told him, “You explained the concepts clearly, which shows your strong understanding. One area to improve is maintaining eye contact—it will make you more engaging. I know you have what it takes to captivate an audience with a little practice.” This balanced feedback motivated James to work on his weaknesses without feeling discouraged. He later gave a stellar presentation that earned praise from his team.

Growth Mindset Coaching

Carol Dweck’s growth mindset principles have profoundly shaped how I mentor. I worked with Maria, a mentee who believed she wasn’t good at coding. She often said, “I’m just not cut out for this.” I reframed her thinking by emphasizing progress over perfection. “You’re not there yet,” I told her, “but every mistake you make is teaching you something new.” Over time, Maria started to embrace challenges as opportunities to grow. She persisted, practiced, and eventually excelled. Encouraging a growth mindset helps people see failure as a stepping stone to success.

Each of these frameworks has its strengths, but what they all share is a focus on guiding people to their own insights and solutions. Mentorship isn’t about being the hero of someone’s story—it’s about helping them become the hero of their own.

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Mastering these coaching frameworks doesn’t just make you a better mentor. It transforms the people you mentor, helping them achieve results they never thought possible. The real measure of success in mentorship is the impact you leave on others, and these frameworks provide the foundation for that impact. Start mastering them today and watch the ripple effect unfold.

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Lessons from 100+ mentorings: Stop blaming the system, and start achieving your goals

Stop blaming the system. I mentored 100+ people landing dream jobs and leapfrogging their career in the last decade because they took action—what’s your excuse?

When I began mentoring, I thought it was about sharing knowledge. What I discovered was far deeper. It wasn’t about just teaching skills; it was about helping people uncover their potential. That’s the heart of transformation—unlocking what’s already within someone. Along the way, I’ve helped over 300 professionals land their dream jobs. Here’s what I’ve learned, and the stories that have stayed with me.

Mentoring helps: Unlock Your Potential. Transform Your Career. Achieve Your Dream Job

1: Confidence begins with clarity. I once mentored a software engineer, Amelia, who felt stuck in her role. She had the technical skills but couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t moving forward. In our first session, I asked her, “What’s your dream job, and why does it excite you?” She couldn’t answer. Most people think they lack skills, but what they really lack is direction. We spent weeks narrowing down her goals and finding the “why” behind her aspirations. Once she had clarity, it was like flipping a switch—her confidence soared, and she began taking deliberate steps toward roles that aligned with her passion. Clarity transforms uncertainty into purpose.

2: Success loves preparation. I remember working with Vipul, who kept getting rejected after final-round interviews. Frustrated, he said, “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” Together, we dissected his interview technique. He was winging it, hoping his charm and technical knowledge would carry him. I told him, “You don’t rise to the occasion; you fall to the level of your preparation.” We practiced every possible question, breaking it down to ensure he delivered concise, confident answers. The next time he interviewed, he landed the job. Rehearsing like it’s game day isn’t optional—it’s essential.

3: Growth thrives on feedback. Feedback can be tough to hear. Tatiyana, a marketing professional I mentored, struggled with taking critique. She’d bristle at suggestions, believing they undermined her abilities. During a review session, I pointed out a critical flaw in her presentation and noticed her defensive body language. I paused and said, “Feedback isn’t criticism—it’s an investment in your growth.” That moment shifted her mindset. Over time, she became eager for constructive input and used it to refine her work. Eventually, she landed her dream role leading a team of her own. When you embrace feedback, you unlock your potential.

4: Relationships open doors skills can’t. Early in my career, I mentored Sanjeev, who was brilliant but shy. He thought networking was about attending events and collecting business cards. I challenged him to build genuine connections instead. I told him, “Your skills will get you noticed, but relationships will get you hired.” We role-played networking conversations, and I encouraged him to reach out on LinkedIn with personalized messages. One meaningful connection led to a conversation, which led to a referral, which led to the job he’d been chasing for years. Networking isn’t about quantity—it’s about quality.

5: Ownership is everything. One of the most inspiring mentees I’ve worked with was Maya. She was stuck in a role she didn’t enjoy and blamed the job market for her lack of progress. I told her, “Your career isn’t a lottery ticket—it’s a choice.” That conversation marked a turning point. Maya began taking ownership of her learning, upskilling herself in areas that aligned with her dream job. She rewrote her resume to tell a compelling story of her achievements and practiced pitching her value in interviews. Within months, she secured her dream role, not because of luck, but because she took charge.

Helping people transform their careers isn’t about handing them answers—it’s about helping them uncover their strengths, build their confidence, and take ownership of their paths. Each of these stories reminds me that mentorship isn’t just about jobs—it’s about changing lives.

If over 100 people can achieve their dreams by unlocking their potential, imagine what’s possible for you. Take action today, and you’ll look back knowing you didn’t just land a job—you transformed your future. The next success story could be yours.

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What are you waiting for? Take action. Now.

Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation. To unlock the full potential of your career, signup for monthly mentorship at 40% discount.

Stop Being a Yes-Man: The Truth About Why Trust Builds Fortunes

Let’s be real: trust is one of those things everyone says they want, but few people actually know how to build. It’s like the gym membership of leadership principles—great in theory, ignored in practice.

Yet at Amazon, Earn Trust isn’t just some corporate buzzword plastered on a wall. It’s a daily, often awkward, sometimes humbling commitment that separates great teams from dysfunctional ones.

Here’s the kicker: trust isn’t about being everyone’s best friend or playing nice at meetings. It’s about saying, “Yeah, I screwed up,” when you did. It’s about calling out a bad idea, even if it makes things uncomfortable. And it’s about doing what you said you would, every damn time, no matter how inconvenient it gets.

At Amazon, “Earn Trust” shows up in unexpected ways. It’s the VP who admits in front of their team that their strategy bombed and needs rethinking. It’s the junior engineer who challenges a flawed plan in a room full of senior leaders, backed by solid data. It’s not always pretty, but it works. And if you can master this, you’ll not only thrive at Amazon—you’ll thrive anywhere.

In this post, we’re going to break down Earn Trust—what it really means, why it matters, and how you can start practicing it in your own life. No fluff, no corporate jargon. Just practical lessons, a few battle-tested tips, and one or two cringe-worthy mistakes to learn from. Let’s dive in.

Trust is earned, not given

Do they ask this in the interviews?

Yes. Amazon-wide for all L4+ and roles.

Question:

“Tell me about a time when you disagreed with a team member or leader’s opinion. How did you handle it, and what was the result?”

Reasonable Answer:

“In one project, a colleague suggested a solution that I believed wasn’t scalable. I shared my concerns in a team meeting and explained why I thought we should explore alternatives. The team considered my input, but we ultimately went with the original plan. While I disagreed, I respected the decision and supported the implementation.”

Let’s analyze this response:

✅ Shows willingness to voice concerns.
❌ Lacks details on how the disagreement was handled.
❌ Doesn’t show how trust was maintained or built during the process.
❌ Misses the impact of the actions on the team or the project outcome.

Better Answer:

“During a system redesign project, a senior team member proposed an approach to improve performance. While their idea was interesting, I noticed it didn’t address potential scalability issues, especially for future customer growth. I scheduled a one-on-one discussion with them first to avoid calling them out in front of the team. I explained my perspective with data from previous projects, highlighting where similar approaches had failed under high traffic. I asked thoughtful questions to better understand their rationale and shared alternative solutions that could meet both short- and long-term goals.”

“In the next team meeting, I respectfully raised my concerns and shared the data I’d gathered. To my surprise, other team members also voiced similar doubts, leading to a collaborative discussion. Together, we refined the proposal, ultimately integrating parts of both approaches into a scalable solution. By addressing the issue respectfully and with evidence, I not only helped the team avoid potential pitfalls but also strengthened trust with the senior team member. They later thanked me for challenging their idea in a constructive way.”

Why This Works:

✅ Demonstrates respectful and thoughtful communication.
✅ Uses data to back up concerns and drive the discussion.
✅ Maintains trust through one-on-one conversations and a collaborative approach.
✅ Highlights a positive outcome and improved team dynamics.

What does it mean in practice?

Here’s the deal: trust isn’t about handshakes, smiles, or playing office politics. It’s about showing up, owning your crap, and delivering results. At Amazon, it’s the glue that keeps teams running at a thousand miles an hour without falling apart.

“Earn Trust” means:

• Listen like you give a damn. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk—actually hear people out.
• Speak the truth. Even when it’s awkward. Even when it sucks. Say it straight, but with respect.
• Own your mistakes. Seriously, stop the blame game. If something’s broken, call it out and fix it.
• Do the thing you promised. No excuses, no drama—just get it done.

And here’s the kicker: it’s not about agreeing on everything. Disagreeing respectfully? That’s trust in action. Because when people know you’re honest, reliable, and self-critical, they’ll trust you—even when you challenge them.

Social cohesion

Let’s talk about a dirty little secret of teamwork: social cohesion isn’t always your friend. Yeah, you heard that right.

Jeff Bezos himself has said it—too much “getting along” can kill a team’s ability to solve real problems. Why? Because when everyone’s too afraid to rock the boat, bad ideas sail straight to failure.

Here’s the deal: a team that prioritizes harmony over honesty becomes a yes machine. Nobody speaks up. Nobody questions the obvious flaws. Everyone nods along to avoid the awkwardness of disagreement. And then what? You build the wrong product. You chase the wrong metrics. You solve the wrong problem.

At Amazon, challenging opinions isn’t just encouraged—it’s essential. When done respectfully, pushing back sharpens ideas, uncovers blind spots, and forces everyone to think deeper. The best teams thrive on friction, not fake smiles.

So, let me ask you this: would you rather hurt someone’s feelings for five minutes or let your entire team waste months solving the wrong problem? Tough love might sting, but it saves lives—okay, maybe just careers—but you get the point. Challenge the idea. Fix the problem. Move forward.

How to Apply This in Your Team (Without Causing a Riot)

Alright, you’re sold on the idea of challenging opinions. But how do you do it without turning your team into a battlefield? Here’s your playbook:

1. Start with respect. Challenge the idea, not the person. It’s not about proving someone wrong—it’s about finding the best solution.
2. Ask the hard questions. Don’t just nod along. Dig deeper. “Why do we think this will work?” “What’s the data to back it up?” Make questioning a habit.
3. Create a safe space. Let your team know it’s okay to disagree. Reward people who speak up, even if their ideas don’t always land.
4. Model it yourself. Admit when you’re wrong. Show that being challenged doesn’t threaten you—it helps you grow.
5. Focus on the outcome. Keep the end goal in sight. This isn’t about who’s right—it’s about what’s right for the team and the customer.

Want a high-performing team? Teach them that challenging ideas is a sign of respect, not rebellion. That’s how you turn social cohesion into productive collaboration.

Why “Earn Trust” Is the Secret Sauce for Success

Here’s the harsh truth: nobody trusts a yes-man. You know the type—the person who nods at everything, avoids conflict like it’s the plague, and sugarcoats feedback to the point of uselessness. Sure, they’re easy to work with, but when it really matters—when the stakes are high, and you’re staring down a tough decision—do you turn to them for advice? Hell no.

At Amazon, and honestly, in real life, trust is built on two things: truth and guts. People trust you when you’re honest, even when it’s uncomfortable. They trust you when you have the courage to say, “This won’t work,” or, “Here’s where we’re failing.” Because when the stakes are high, nobody wants someone who says what they think you want to hear. They want someone who tells it like it is, no matter how much it stings.

Think about it: When you need real feedback, do you go to the person who sugarcoats everything? Or do you go to the blunt friend, the one who calls out your BS and tells you exactly what needs to change? Exactly. That’s why “Earn Trust” isn’t just crucial for Amazon—it’s a life skill. Being honest and reliable earns you a reputation as the person who gets sh*t done and makes others better.

The bottom line? Yes-men fade into the background. Truth-tellers rise to the top. If you want people to trust you—not just agree with you—get real, speak up, and start delivering. Trust isn’t given. It’s earned.

Conclusion

At Amazon—and in life—trust isn’t handed out like candy. It’s earned through your actions, your honesty, and your ability to show up when it matters most. Leaders who listen intently, speak candidly, and deliver consistently are the ones who build lasting relationships and drive meaningful results.

If you want to succeed, stop aiming to please and start aiming to be trusted. Be the person who challenges bad ideas with respect, admits mistakes without excuses, and backs every claim with action. That’s how you earn trust.

And here’s the real kicker: once people trust you, they’ll follow you. They’ll rely on you. They’ll come to you when things are falling apart because they know you’ll be honest, reliable, and real. That’s not just a leadership principle—it’s a superpower. Earn trust, and you’ll do more than succeed. You’ll lead.

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Nail Your Amazon Interview by Mastering the Art of Ownership

Imagine you’re in the middle of a high-stakes project, and suddenly, a critical component fails.

All eyes turn to you.

In that moment, true ownership emerges taking full responsibility to drive solutions.

Cultivating this mindset within your organization transforms challenges into opportunities and propels both individual and collective success.

Here’s how to embed a culture of ownership in your team.

This post is for you—anyone looking to not just survive Amazon’s behavioral interviews but to crush them.

Ownership is about driving results

We’ll unpack what ownership actually looks like, break down a sample question with real-world examples, and teach you how to dig into your experience to craft a bar-raising answer.

By the end, you won’t just understand what ownership means—you’ll live and breathe it. Let’s get started.

A brief summary of Ownership at Amazon

In the previous post, we explained Ownership. Here's a quick summary:

Ownership is about taking full responsibility for outcomes, not just tasks, and thinking beyond your immediate role to drive meaningful results. It’s a mindset that prioritizes long-term impact, accountability, and a relentless focus on making things better for the organization as a whole.

Ownership means responsibility: You don’t wait for someone to hand you a solution—you find the problem, own it, and solve it.

Think long-term: Owners don’t chase short-term wins at the cost of lasting impact. They invest in sustainable outcomes.

Act on behalf of the whole: Ownership isn’t confined to your team or role. It’s about doing what’s best for the organization as a whole.

Drive results, not excuses: Owners take accountability for outcomes, whether they succeed or fail. They don’t pass the buck.

Empower others: True ownership inspires collaboration and creates momentum that extends beyond individual contributions.

Amazon is always looking for leaders like you

Think about it: companies like Amazon are looking for leaders, not task-doers.

When you demonstrate ownership, you show that you don’t just follow orders; you take initiative, solve problems, and create value. It’s the difference between saying, “I did what was asked,” and saying, “Here’s how I made a lasting impact.”

Ownership tells the interviewer that you think like a founder, not just an employee—that you’re someone who doesn’t wait to be told what to do but steps up to lead. And leaders, whether they’re engineers or managers, are exactly who Amazon is looking for.

What does it look like during an interview?

The interviewer leans forward, pen ready, and asks, “Tell me about a time when you were responsible for delivering a project, and things didn’t go as planned. What did you do to ensure success?”

Now, this isn’t just a question—it’s a mirror. They want to see how you own your responsibilities, especially when the stakes are high.

Did you step up, adapt, and drive the project to completion, or did you let obstacles define the outcome?

Ownership here isn’t about playing the hero; it’s about showing resilience, accountability, and the ability to lead through challenges.

This is your chance to prove that you don’t just handle tasks—you see them through, no matter what.

Scenario 1

The candidate sits back, thinking for a moment before responding, “Well, there was a time when I was managing a system migration project. Things didn’t go as planned because some dependencies weren’t ready on time. I escalated the issue to my manager and waited for them to address it. Eventually, the dependencies were resolved, and we completed the migration, but it took longer than expected.”

The interviewer nods but doesn’t write much.

The candidate’s answer feels safe, uninspired.

They acknowledged the problem but offered no evidence of initiative, no spark of ownership. It’s a flat response because it leaves the story incomplete—what could they have done differently? How did their actions influence the outcome?

Ownership isn’t just identifying a problem; it’s actively driving the solution.

This answer simply shows someone following the script, not owning the story.

❌ No Initiative: The candidate identified the problem but stopped at escalation, showing no effort to address or resolve the issue independently.

❌ Lack of Ownership: They deferred responsibility to their manager, missing an opportunity to demonstrate accountability and leadership.

❌ No Impact or Results: The answer provides no evidence of meaningful action or outcomes, leaving the impression of passivity rather than proactivity.

Scenario 2

The candidate straightens up, nodding as they recall the scenario.

“During a system migration project, some dependencies weren’t ready on time, which delayed our timeline. I flagged the issue to my manager and also reached out to the team responsible for the dependencies to understand the roadblocks. I offered some suggestions to help them prioritize our requirements and coordinated daily check-ins to track progress. Eventually, we got the dependencies ready and completed the migration a few weeks behind schedule, but I made sure to minimize the delays as much as possible.”

The interviewer jots down a few notes, acknowledging the effort. It’s a decent answer—the candidate showed awareness of the issue, took some initiative by communicating with other teams, and helped keep things moving.

However, it stops short of being memorable.

The candidate acted within the expected boundaries of their role, but there’s no indication of going above and beyond to truly own the outcome.

It’s a story of responsibility, not leadership.

✅ Some Initiative: The candidate communicated with the dependency team and provided suggestions, showing an effort to address the issue.

✅ Collaboration: Demonstrated teamwork by coordinating with others to minimize delays.

❌ Limited Ownership: Relied on established processes without fully taking responsibility for the outcome.

❌ No Long-Term Solution: Focused only on immediate fixes without addressing the root cause of the delay.

❌ Minimal Impact: The answer lacks significant results or measurable improvements, making it less memorable.

Scenario 3

The candidate leans forward and begins confidently:

“During a critical system migration project, we encountered a significant roadblock when key dependencies from another team weren’t delivered on time. This delay jeopardized not just our timeline but also the success of downstream systems reliant on the migration. I knew this wasn’t just a problem to report—it was one to own.”

[Situation] The migration project had multiple interconnected dependencies. One of the key teams responsible for delivering crucial components missed their deadlines, putting the entire project at risk. Without immediate action, the delay would cascade, impacting other teams and systems.

[Task] As the lead for the migration, it was my responsibility to ensure the project’s successful delivery. This meant finding a way to manage the immediate impact of the delay while addressing the systemic issues causing it, all without compromising quality or creating additional risks.

[Action] First, I met with the dependency team to diagnose the root cause of the delay. It turned out that misaligned priorities and unclear communication between teams had caused the issue. I worked with them to reprioritize their deliverables and identify quick wins to unblock our work.

Next, I reorganized our team’s timeline to focus on tasks that didn’t rely on the delayed dependencies. Simultaneously, I developed a temporary workaround, enabling us to test and progress other aspects of the migration without waiting for the missing components.

Finally, I proposed and implemented a long-term fix. I introduced a dependency-tracking system in our project management tool, ensuring that all teams could flag risks earlier. I also initiated bi-weekly cross-team syncs to maintain better alignment and transparency on future projects.

[Result] The project was delivered just one week behind schedule, avoiding major disruptions to downstream systems. More importantly, the new tracking system and communication processes became organizational standards, reducing dependency-related delays by 40% in subsequent projects. These changes set up the entire organization for smoother, more efficient project execution in the future.

“By taking ownership of the problem, I ensured the project’s success while driving systemic improvements that benefited the entire organization.”

Now, what do you think of this response?

Why this answer works?

✅ Proactive Problem-Solving: The candidate takes initiative to address the issue at both the immediate and systemic levels.

✅ Balanced Approach: Tackles the current problem while implementing changes that prevent similar issues in the future.

✅ Clear Use of STAR: The response is structured and concise, making it easy for the interviewer to follow.

✅ Quantifiable Results: Demonstrates measurable success with reduced delays and increased organizational efficiency.

✅ Leadership and Ownership: Reflects taking full accountability, acting beyond the role’s basic requirements, and influencing the broader organization.

✅ Alignment with Amazon’s Principles: Embodies the ownership mindset Amazon values, showing the ability to think long-term and act on behalf of the entire company.

The takeaway

Here’s the deal: If you want to stand out, if you want that job, you’ve got to show up like you’re already part of the team.

Take responsibility.

Drive results.

Solve problems like it’s your company on the line—because that’s the mentality they’re looking for.

But here’s the kicker: This isn’t just about landing a job at Amazon. It’s about how you approach your entire career.

Ownership is what separates the good from the great. It’s how you create opportunities, build influence, and make an impact.

So stop playing small. Take this mindset, own it, and start making moves—whether it’s for your dream job or your dream life. Let’s go! 🔥

Before you go…

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Don’t forget to signup for LeaderHub weekly Office Hours if you want to know more about Engineering Leadership.

You can also book a FREE 30-minute consultation to ask any question you may have about a career at Amazon, Meta, or Google.

Why ‘That’s Not My Job’ Is Killing Your Career

In the wild, a wolf pack thrives not because of the strength of its leader, but because each member takes responsibility for the survival of the group.

The scout ventures ahead to find prey, the sentry watches for danger, and the rest align to ensure the pack moves as one. This natural instinct to “own the mission” is what keeps the pack alive. In business, it’s no different.

A wolf pack thrives not because of the strength of its leader, but because each member takes responsibility for the survival of the group

Companies like Amazon succeed because they’ve embedded this principle of ownership into their culture—encouraging every individual, regardless of rank, to think not as employees but as stewards of the entire organization.

Ownership is the glue that turns individuals into teams and teams into movements.

My Story Behind Building Momentum from the Ground Up

Ownership is an attitude.

It is a relentless commitment to making something better.

It’s stepping into a situation, no matter how chaotic or uncertain, and saying, “This is mine to fix.”

When I joined one of Amazon’s core data teams in the summer of 2021, that’s exactly what I decided to do. The team, contributing to open source, was struggling for relevance in a sea of priorities. We were adrift, lacking direction and clarity. So, I took ownership.

The first step was asking the uncomfortable but necessary questions: Why does this team exist? What value do we provide?

Together, we crafted a team charter that defined our mission, tenets, and purpose—a compass for everything we’d do moving forward. Ownership, at its core, is about creating clarity where there is none.

With this foundation, we tackled the next challenge: operations. It wasn’t glamorous work. Defining release and support policies and streamlining workflows isn’t the stuff that makes headlines, but it’s what allowed us to move faster, innovate independently, and stay ahead. We stopped waiting for the rest of the organization to dictate our pace. Ownership means not just solving problems but anticipating them and building systems that eliminate them entirely.

Once the basics were in place, it was time to think bigger.

In sales, they call it lead generation; for us, it was socializing our purpose across Amazon. We didn’t wait for recognition—we earned it. We doubled our open-source contributions year-over-year and shared our innovations with anyone who would listen. Month by month, we built momentum. And as that momentum grew, so did the attention from executive leadership.

Suddenly, our team wasn’t just relevant—it was indispensable.

The projects we tackled were no longer minor contributions but groundbreaking solutions to problems a Distinguished Engineer once described as “unsolved for the last 40 years.” We didn’t achieve this by staying in our lane. I took on roles far outside my job description: program manager, product manager, technical evangelist, even a sales and marketing rep. Ownership isn’t about doing what’s expected; it’s about doing what’s needed.

This is the essence of Amazon’s ownership principle.

It’s not about perfection or even control—it’s about responsibility.

When leaders take ownership, they empower their teams to expand their scope and influence, not just within the organization but in the broader world. Ownership doesn’t just build better teams or better products. It builds momentum—and momentum changes everything.

Leaders are owners, they aren't told what to do

At Amazon, the idea that “leaders are owners, they aren’t told what to do” is a powerful declaration of autonomy and accountability.

Leaders are owners, they aren’t told what to do

It flips the traditional command-and-control model on its head, placing the responsibility for initiative squarely in the hands of individuals.

Ownership means that leaders don’t wait for direction; they assess the landscape, identify opportunities, and act decisively.

This mindset fosters a culture where every leader feels empowered to make decisions as if they owned the company themselves.

In practice, it’s what allows Amazon to scale innovation—because when leaders take responsibility without needing explicit instructions, they create a ripple effect of accountability and forward motion across teams.

It’s the difference between a stagnant organization waiting for top-down directives and a dynamic one that thrives on bottom-up innovation.

What does it mean for Amazon?

Amazon’s “Ownership” principle isn’t just corporate jargon—it’s a fundamental ethos that permeates the company’s operations. Leaders at Amazon are expected to act on behalf of the entire company, think long-term, and never say, “that’s not my job.” 

This mindset has tangible impacts. For instance, when Amazon decided to enter the cloud computing market, it wasn’t a direct extension of their retail business. However, employees took ownership of the initiative, leading to the creation of Amazon Web Services (AWS), which now contributes significantly to Amazon’s revenue.

Moreover, the “Ownership” principle fosters a culture where employees proactively address issues beyond their immediate responsibilities. This approach not only accelerates problem-solving but also drives innovation, as individuals feel empowered to implement solutions without waiting for directives.

However, this high level of ownership can have downsides. It may lead to burnout, as employees might overextend themselves trying to manage multiple responsibilities. Additionally, without clear boundaries, there’s potential for role confusion and inefficiencies.

In essence, Amazon’s emphasis on ownership cultivates a proactive and innovative workforce, but it’s crucial to balance this with support systems to mitigate potential drawbacks.

What Does Ownership Mean for Engineers and Individual Contributors

At Amazon, all employees, including people managers are LEADERS.

For engineers and individual contributors, ownership is about how they approach their work and the problems they solve.

It’s stepping beyond the boundaries of “what’s in my job description” and thinking, “What can I do to make this better?”

Let me share a story to illustrate.

Imagine a developer tasked with maintaining an internal tool that automates reporting. The tool works, but it’s slow and clunky, and no one loves using it. Instead of just patching bugs and moving on, they dig deeper.

They rewrite the codebase for efficiency, optimize the database queries, and even add a dashboard to make the tool more user-friendly.

Then they go a step further: they reach out to the teams using the tool, gathering feedback and iterating based on what they learn.

Months later, that once-overlooked tool becomes a critical part of the workflow, saving hours for dozens of teams. That’s ownership.

Here’s another example.

A junior engineer notices that their team’s deployments frequently fail due to inconsistent configurations.

While it’s not technically their responsibility, they take the initiative to automate configuration validation as part of the CI/CD pipeline.

The result?

Fewer failed deployments, less downtime, and more confidence across the team. Ownership here looks like fixing systemic issues, not just treating symptoms.

For individual contributors, ownership often means being proactive about identifying problems and opportunities.

It’s about not waiting for permission to improve things that matter. It means thinking like a stakeholder—anticipating needs, understanding the bigger picture, and delivering work that aligns with the organization’s goals.

Ownership doesn’t just make engineers better at their jobs; it amplifies their impact, turning small actions into long-lasting contributions.

Does it mean I do everything myself?

No. It does not.

Ownership is not micromanagement, martyrdom, or an excuse to hoard responsibilities.

It doesn’t mean doing everything yourself, refusing help, or burning out in the name of accountability.

True ownership is about driving outcomes, not controlling every input. It’s not about ignoring boundaries or taking on tasks outside your expertise to prove a point; it’s about ensuring those tasks are completed effectively, even if that means delegating or collaborating.

Ownership isn’t a license to override processes or act unilaterally—it thrives within a framework of trust, transparency, and teamwork.

Simply put, ownership is about responsibility, not ego. It’s not about saying, “I did it all,” but rather, “I ensured it got done, and done well.”

Before you leave

Ownership is a mindset that can transform teams, drive innovation, and create lasting impact.

Whether you’re an executive, a manager, or an individual contributor, adopting an ownership mentality empowers you to take control, think long-term, and deliver results that matter.

It’s about stepping up, not because someone asked you to, but because you see an opportunity to make things better.

Now it’s your turn.

Reflect on your work—are you approaching it as a task to complete, or as something you own? Start by identifying one area where you can take more responsibility, fix a recurring problem, or drive a meaningful change.

Share this post with your team and challenge them to do the same. Ownership isn’t just about what you do—it’s about the culture you create. Take action today, and watch how it inspires those around you.

Don’t forget to signup for my newsletter below to stay in touch. Why? Because, I have a passion of writing posts like this that will culminate in a polished giveaway — just as a token of appreciation for your time and most importantly to help advance your career. You, my reader, are the reason we exist.

Don’t forget to signup for LeaderHub weekly Office Hours if you want to know more about Engineering Leadership.

You can also book a FREE 30-minute consultation to ask any question you may have about a career at Amazon, Meta, or Google.

Adopt a Customer-Obsessed Mindset in 7 Bold Steps

If your engineering team isn’t obsessed with the customer, you’re not innovating—you’re just keeping busy.

If you’re an Engineering Manager or Director, this might sting a little. You pride yourself on your team’s technical prowess and ability to deliver, but here’s the hard truth: Without a relentless focus on the customer, all that effort risks being wasted. The best teams—the ones that innovate, adapt, and consistently exceed expectations—don’t just ship code. They solve real problems for real people. So, how can you guide your team to think and act with the customer at the center? Let’s break it down.

It is time to go back to the drawing board and ask why?

In my previous posts, I emphasized the need for customer obsession and how Amazon models this mindset on a daily basis.

Too many teams measure success by how much they build or how fast they deliver. But the truth is, none of that matters if your work doesn’t make a meaningful difference to the people using it. The best teams don’t start with features or deadlines; they start with the customer. And if that’s not how your team operates, it’s time to rethink everything.

1. Start with Why

Every successful product, feature, or service begins with a fundamental question: Why are we doing this? It’s easy to get caught up in the What—the technical requirements, the deadlines, the KPIs—but the most impactful work is always anchored in a clear purpose. For engineering teams, that purpose is the customer.

A Compelling Story to Frame the Problem

Consider the story of a team that launched a revolutionary product but failed to connect with users. Despite cutting-edge technology and flawless execution, the product floundered. Why? They built something for themselves, not for their customers. Contrast this with teams that obsess over understanding their users: They create solutions that resonate, delight, and endure.

The difference between these outcomes lies in starting with Why. Teams driven by a customer-first approach consistently outperform those that focus only on execution.

Why It Matters

At its core, putting the customer first ensures that:

• The team’s work is meaningful and impactful.

• Priorities align with real-world needs, not internal assumptions.

• Every decision contributes to building trust and loyalty with users.

Without this focus, even the best-engineered solutions risk irrelevance. Engineers are problem solvers by nature, but the problems worth solving are the ones that matter to the people you serve.

Reflection for Leaders

As an engineering manager, your role is to help your team connect their day-to-day work to the larger purpose. Ask them:

• Who benefits from what we’re building?

• How will our work make a difference in their lives?

• If we weren’t here, what would our customers lose?

By starting with Why, you inspire your team to think beyond tasks and deliverables. You help them see their work through the eyes of the customer—fostering a deeper sense of ownership, pride, and innovation.

Understanding the Why sets the foundation for everything else. It’s the first step in creating a culture where the customer isn’t just a stakeholder but the driving force behind every line of code, every sprint, and every decision.

2. The Golden Circle Applied to Engineering Teams

When we think about our work as engineers and managers, it’s easy to get caught up in the What—the code, the tools, the features. We obsess over deadlines, performance benchmarks, and how efficiently we’re shipping updates. But none of that truly matters if we lose sight of Why we’re doing it in the first place.

Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle challenges us to flip the script. Instead of starting with What we do or even How we do it, we begin with Why. For engineering teams, that means grounding everything we build in the value it creates for the customer.

Start with Why

• The Why for engineering teams is simple but profound: to solve meaningful problems for our customers.

• This is more than delivering functional software—it’s about understanding the human at the other end of the process. What challenges do they face? How can we make their lives better, easier, or more rewarding?

Ask your team: “If we disappeared tomorrow, what difference would it make to the people who use our products?”

How We Deliver on the Why

The How is the bridge between the purpose and the execution. Engineering teams can deliver on their Why through:

• Customer Empathy: Involve team members in customer interviews or user-testing sessions to connect them directly to real-world pain points.

• Iterative Problem-Solving: Use Agile practices not just to iterate on features, but to iterate on value—adapting and refining based on customer feedback.

• Aligned Prioritization: Make decisions about what to build based on what has the most impact on the customer, not just what’s technically interesting or quickest to deliver.

The What Becomes Clear

When teams are aligned on their Why and their How, the What becomes a natural extension. Instead of scrambling to meet arbitrary goals, the team creates products and features that reflect a clear purpose.

• Features stop being a checkbox for internal roadmaps and start being solutions to real problems.

• Performance metrics shift from vanity stats (lines of code, tickets closed) to measurable outcomes like user satisfaction and task success rates.

Does Your Work Reflect the Golden Circle?

When reviewing your team’s current projects, ask:

1. Can we articulate the Why for this project in one sentence?

2. Do we know How this work connects to solving a customer problem?

3. Does the What deliver measurable value for the customer?

The best engineering teams aren’t the ones with the flashiest tech stacks or the quickest deployments. They’re the ones who consistently ask, “Who are we building this for?” and align every line of code, every decision, with their answer.

So, before you dive into the next sprint, take a moment to recalibrate. Start with Why. Everything else will follow.

3. From Vision to Action

Adopting a customer-first mindset isn’t just a policy change—it’s a cultural shift. It starts with a clear vision and flows into everyday actions. As an engineering manager, your role is to guide your team from simply knowing about the customer to truly understanding and prioritizing them.

Paint a Clear Vision

Great leaders inspire by making the future feel tangible. What does success look like when your team puts the customer first? It’s not about shipping faster or implementing trendier technologies; it’s about outcomes that directly improve the customer’s life.

• Instead of “We’ll reduce query latency by 30%,” say, “Customers will no longer have to wait when they’re in a hurry to find information.”

• Frame technical work as a means to an end—where the end is always the customer.

A vivid vision bridges the gap between technical ambition and customer value. It gives your team a purpose that resonates beyond code.

Reinforce Through Stories

Nothing builds understanding like stories. Share examples where putting the customer first led to exceptional outcomes:

• Did a quick pivot based on user feedback save a struggling product?

• Was there a feature that initially seemed unnecessary but became a game-changer for users?

Stories humanize the customer and connect your team’s work to real people. Use them often—in meetings, retrospectives, and 1:1s—to ground technical discussions in customer impact.

Model the Behavior

Culture starts at the top. If you want your team to embrace a customer-first approach, you need to demonstrate it yourself:

• Take the time to review customer feedback regularly and share insights with the team.

• Show curiosity about the customer’s world by attending support calls or sitting in on user testing sessions.

• When prioritizing work, openly weigh decisions based on customer impact, even if it means deferring internal goals.

When your actions reflect a commitment to the customer, your team will follow suit.

Make It Real

A vision without action is just wishful thinking. Help your team translate the customer-first mindset into their daily work:

• During sprint planning, challenge the team to articulate the customer value of each task.

• Celebrate wins that demonstrate customer empathy, like well-received feature updates or bug fixes that solved a major pain point.

• Encourage team members to think beyond functional requirements—ask, “What would delight the customer here?”

A customer-first culture doesn’t happen overnight. It’s built through intentional actions, modeled behaviors, and a shared commitment to making the customer the centerpiece of everything you do.

When your team starts seeing their work through the customer’s eyes, it transforms not just what they build, but how they feel about building it. They’ll find purpose in their work—and that’s where innovation thrives.

4. Fostering Customer-First Thinking

Creating a customer-first culture isn’t just about inspiring words—it’s about embedding practices into your team’s workflow that consistently prioritize the customer. Here’s a step-by-step framework you can use to guide your team toward customer-first thinking.

Step 1: Walk in Their Shoes

Empathy is the foundation of a customer-first mindset. To build it, your team needs to step out of the engineering bubble and directly engage with customers.

• Conduct Customer Interviews: Invite engineers to join user research sessions or customer calls. Hearing firsthand about customer struggles creates a deep emotional connection to their pain points.

• Experience the Product: Encourage your team to use the product as if they were customers. What feels frustrating or unintuitive? What works well?

• Shadow Support Teams: Assign engineers to spend a day observing how customer support handles queries. It’s an eye-opening way to understand recurring issues and the stakes of solving them.

Step 2: Align Metrics with Impact

Too often, engineering teams focus on metrics that measure output (e.g., tickets closed) rather than outcomes (e.g., customer satisfaction). Realign team goals to reflect the value delivered to customers.

• Replace technical KPIs with customer-centric metrics:

• Instead of “Reduce load times by X%,” use “Increase customer retention on feature Y by Z%.”

• Track Net Promoter Scores (NPS) or customer feedback ratings as a measure of success.

• Use customer impact as the ultimate filter for prioritization. Ask, “Will this work make a noticeable difference to the customer?”

Step 3: Reward Customer-Centric Wins

Behavior that gets recognized gets repeated. Create a culture where actions that prioritize the customer are celebrated.

• Call Out Customer Wins: Highlight moments in retrospectives or team meetings when a feature or fix had a big impact on the customer.

• Create Recognition Systems: Introduce awards like a “Customer Hero of the Sprint” to recognize team members who go above and beyond to serve customer needs.

• Share Feedback: Loop customer success stories or positive feedback directly back to the team. Knowing their work made a difference fuels motivation and purpose.

Step 4: Create a Feedback Loop

A customer-first culture requires constant learning. Build mechanisms to bring the customer’s voice into your team’s daily operations.

• Embed Feedback in Processes: Regularly review customer feedback during standups or sprint planning sessions.

• Use Customer Data to Drive Decisions: Collect and analyze user behavior data to uncover patterns and areas for improvement. Share these insights widely with the team.

• Iterate Together: Establish a rhythm of building, testing, and refining based on customer input. Show the team how feedback shapes decisions.

Make It Part of Your DNA

The best frameworks are sustainable because they integrate seamlessly into existing workflows. Build customer-first practices into the rituals your team already follows:

• Add a “Customer Check” to every code review: Does this change improve the user experience?

• Start retrospectives with a reflection on customer impact: What did we do last sprint that helped our users the most?

By following this framework, you can transform customer-first thinking from a philosophy into a way of working. Over time, it becomes second nature for your team to prioritize the customer in every decision—and that’s where the magic happens.

Your team won’t just build products; they’ll build solutions that matter. And in doing so, they’ll create something far greater than features or functionality—they’ll create trust.

5. Breaking Old Habits

Shifting to a customer-first culture can encounter resistance. It’s natural—teams are accustomed to established workflows, priorities, and metrics. Addressing these objections head-on can pave the way for meaningful change.

Common Objections and How to Address Them

“We don’t have time for this.”

• Reality Check: Explain how investing time in understanding the customer reduces wasted effort on features that miss the mark.

• Practical Solution: Incorporate small changes, like dedicating one sprint planning session a month to reviewing customer feedback, rather than overhauling the entire workflow.

“We already know what the customer needs.”

• Reality Check: Acknowledge the team’s expertise but emphasize that customer needs evolve and assumptions must be validated regularly.

• Practical Solution: Use data and anecdotes from recent user interactions to challenge these assumptions.

“Our metrics are already strong.”

• Reality Check: Strong metrics are important, but highlight how customer-first thinking can provide additional insights into long-term satisfaction and loyalty.

• Practical Solution: Encourage experimenting with customer-focused metrics alongside traditional ones to demonstrate their value.

Breaking Habits That Hinder Progress

Defaulting to Internal Priorities

• Encourage the team to reframe priorities by asking, “How does this benefit the customer?”

• Adjust sprint goals to explicitly include customer-impact deliverables.

Relying Solely on Past Practices

• Share stories or data showing how other teams benefited from prioritizing customer input.

• Pilot new practices, like customer journey mapping, to demonstrate their value incrementally.

Focusing Only on Short-Term Results

• Highlight how long-term customer trust can improve retention and advocacy.

• Use case studies or feedback loops to connect present efforts to future gains.

Building Consensus

Bringing a team on board requires collective alignment:

• Hold workshops to identify gaps between current practices and customer expectations.

• Create shared goals that balance technical objectives with measurable customer outcomes.

• Use retrospectives to reflect on how recent work has impacted the customer.

Resistance to change is inevitable, but it can be addressed by clarifying benefits, demonstrating success incrementally, and fostering an environment where the customer is seen as a vital part of every decision. Teams often resist what they don’t fully understand, so transparency and engagement are key to driving adoption.

6. Impact on Team Culture and Performance

A customer-first culture does more than improve the products or services your team delivers—it reshapes how your team works, collaborates, and thrives. The effects ripple across your organization, transforming both performance and morale.

Empowered Teams with Clear Purpose

When engineers see the direct connection between their work and customer outcomes, their sense of purpose grows stronger. They’re no longer writing code in isolation—they’re solving tangible problems for real people.

• Purpose-driven teams are more motivated and resilient, even during challenging projects.

• Engineers become more proactive, seeking ways to deliver additional value rather than merely meeting requirements.

Boosted Innovation

Focusing on the customer unlocks creativity. When the team deeply understands customer needs, they can challenge assumptions and identify opportunities to solve problems in unique ways.

• Teams start thinking beyond traditional feature sets, exploring innovative approaches that differentiate your product in the market.

• Iteration becomes natural as customer feedback guides refinements and inspires new ideas.

Stronger Collaboration Across Functions

A customer-first culture aligns everyone—from engineering to product management, design, and support—around a shared goal. This alignment fosters better communication and smoother collaboration.

• Cross-functional teams are more likely to make decisions that balance technical feasibility, customer needs, and business goals.

• Silos dissolve as everyone speaks the same language: the voice of the customer.

Improved Performance Metrics

When customer impact is prioritized, the metrics that matter—retention, satisfaction, and engagement—naturally improve. Teams that focus on delivering meaningful results see:

• Fewer wasted resources on features that don’t resonate with users.

• Increased loyalty from customers who feel understood and valued.

A Positive Feedback Loop

Success breeds more success. When the team sees how their work has positively impacted the customer, it reinforces the value of their efforts and strengthens the commitment to the customer-first mindset.

• Positive feedback from customers energizes the team and builds momentum.

• Stories of impact become part of the team’s identity, creating pride in the work they do.

By adopting a customer-first approach, engineering teams don’t just achieve better results—they redefine how they measure success. It’s no longer about lines of code or sprint velocity; it’s about the difference they make for the people they serve. This cultural shift creates a more engaged, innovative, and collaborative team ready to tackle any challenge.

7. Lead with the Customer at the Center

Adopting a customer-first culture isn’t a one-time initiative—it’s a continuous commitment that starts with you as a leader. By prioritizing the customer, you shape not just the products your team creates, but the mindset with which they approach every challenge.

Challenge the Status Quo

Ask yourself and your team:

• Are we designing solutions based on customer needs or internal assumptions?

• Do our metrics reflect customer success, or are they focused only on operational efficiency?

• How often do we engage directly with the people who use what we build?

Challenging these habits is the first step toward building a culture that keeps the customer front and center.

Take Immediate Steps

To begin embedding this mindset:

1: Host a Workshop: Dedicate a session to exploring your team’s “Why.” Clarify how your work impacts the customer and identify areas where alignment could improve.

2: Set Up a Feedback Loop: Create a system for collecting and regularly sharing customer insights with the team. This can include surveys, interviews, or user testing sessions.

3: Redefine Success: Work with your team to adjust goals and KPIs to focus on customer outcomes.

Inspire Through Action

Leadership is about more than words—it’s about setting the example. Show your team what it means to prioritize the customer by:

• Sharing customer stories in team meetings and retrospectives.

• Celebrating wins that demonstrate customer impact, no matter how small.

• Regularly involving yourself in customer-facing activities, like shadowing support teams or sitting in on usability sessions.

Build a Legacy

Teams that adopt a customer-first culture deliver more than great products—they build trust, loyalty, and long-lasting relationships with the people they serve. But it all begins with leadership. By taking the first step, you’re not only improving the work your team does today—you’re creating a foundation for sustained success and innovation.

The question is: Will you start now?

Take one action today to align your team’s work with the people who rely on it. Every change, no matter how small, moves you closer to building a team that doesn’t just solve problems but understands and champions the people behind them. That’s the real measure of success.

Don’t forget to signup for my newsletter below to stay in touch. Why? Because, I have a passion of writing posts like this that will culminate in a polished giveaway — just as a token of appreciation for your time and most importantly to help advance your career. You, my reader, are the reason we exist.

Don’t forget to signup for LeaderHub weekly Office Hours if you want to know more about Engineering Leadership.

You can also book a FREE 30-minute consultation to ask any question you may have about a career at Amazon, Meta, or Google.

How to Embrace Amazon’s Customer Obsession and Land the Job

Imagine you’re in an interview at Amazon, and the hiring manager asks, “Tell me about a time you solved a customer problem.” How you answer this question could determine whether you get the job. At Amazon, Customer Obsession isn’t just a nice-to-have skill—it’s a core expectation, and understanding how to embody it can be the key to landing and thriving in a role at the company.

Interview at Amazon coming up? Sign up for a mock interview session with Sanjeet.

An empty chair in Amazon meetings represents customers

Here’s what Customer Obsession means for everyone else, why it matters, and how one can adapt their mindset to align with Amazon’s most celebrated Leadership Principle.

What Does Customer Obsession Really Mean at Amazon?

At its core, Customer Obsession means putting the customer at the center of everything you do. It’s not just about responding to customer needs—it’s about anticipating them, finding creative solutions, and going above and beyond to deliver value.

A good question to ask at this point is: Who is the customer?

Jeff Bezos explained it best: “We’re not competitor-obsessed; we’re customer-obsessed. We start with what the customer needs and we work backwards.”

At Amazon, this principle drives decisions at all levels:

• Engineers design features by imagining the ideal customer experience, not by focusing on technical limitations.

• Operations teams optimize delivery routes to ensure packages arrive faster than promised.

• Customer service representatives are empowered to resolve issues quickly, without bureaucracy.
  

For an employee, Customer Obsession isn’t a task; it’s a mindset. Every role—whether it’s writing code, managing a supply chain, or designing marketing campaigns—is tied to serving the customer.

Why Does It Matter to Amazon?

Customer Obsession is one of the reasons Amazon has consistently ranked high in customer satisfaction surveys. In 2024, the American Customer Satisfaction Index (ACSI) gave Amazon a score of 83 out of 100, making it one of the top-rated companies in retail. For job seekers, this focus means Amazon hires people who can contribute to this level of excellence.

But there’s more to it. Customer Obsession isn’t just about external results. It shapes Amazon’s internal culture. Employees are encouraged to “work backward,” starting from the customer’s needs and crafting solutions that meet those needs, even if it challenges conventional processes.

What Does This Mean for You as a Candidate?

If you want to work at Amazon, you need to show that you can think like they do—always keeping the customer in focus. Here’s how this translates into specific qualities Amazon looks for during interviews:

Empathy: Can you understand the customer’s perspective, even when it’s not explicitly stated?

Example Question: “Describe a time when you identified a problem before a customer noticed it.”

Problem-Solving: Are you resourceful and creative in solving customer issues? Amazon loves candidates who can think critically and propose innovative solutions.

Example Question: “Tell me about a time you improved a process that impacted the customer experience.”

Ownership: Amazon expects employees to take responsibility for customer outcomes, even if it’s outside their direct role.

Example Question: “Describe a situation where you took ownership of a problem and drove it to resolution.”

Data-Driven Thinking: Amazon thrives on metrics. Can you back up your decisions with data that ties back to the customer

Example Question: “How have you used data to identify and address a customer need?”

How to Adapt to Amazon’s Customer Obsession Mindset

To stand out in the hiring process and excel once you join, you need to do more than just understand Customer Obsession—you need to live it. Here’s how:

1. Reframe Your Work Around the Customer

Think about your current or past roles. How did your work directly or indirectly serve a customer? If you’re in a back-end role like software development, consider how your work enabled a better user experience.

Example: “I built a tool that reduced processing time for customer orders by 30%, enabling faster delivery and higher customer satisfaction.”

2. Practice “Working Backwards”

Amazon’s famous “working backward” approach starts with the ideal customer experience and builds the solution to meet that vision. You can demonstrate this mindset in your answers.

Example: “When I noticed recurring customer complaints about late deliveries, I spearheaded a project to identify bottlenecks in our logistics chain and reduced delays by 40%.”

3. Use Data to Tell Your Story

Be prepared to quantify your impact. At Amazon, numbers matter.

Example: “By introducing an automated follow-up system, I improved customer retention rates by 15% in six months.”

4. Show Proactive Ownership

Amazon values employees who don’t pass the buck. Show that you’ve taken initiative to fix problems—even if they weren’t in your job description.

Example: “When a critical customer-facing system crashed, I coordinated with multiple teams to restore service in two hours, minimizing downtime and customer complaints.”

5. Learn From Amazon’s Examples

Research how Amazon embodies Customer Obsession. Study stories like the development of AWS or the creation of Prime. Use these examples to inspire your answers and demonstrate that you understand the company’s ethos.

How to Prepare for Interviews

• Understand the Leadership Principle: Read Amazon’s definition of Customer Obsession and think about how it applies to your experience.

• Practice Behavioral Questions: Amazon uses the STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result) format. Prepare stories that highlight empathy, problem-solving, and ownership.

• Ask Yourself “Why?”: For every action you describe, tie it back to the customer.

  • Example: “Why did I optimize that process? To ensure customers received accurate billing information on time.”

What Happens Once You’re Hired?

If you join Amazon, Customer Obsession will be part of your daily work. Here’s what you can expect:

• Regular Metrics Reviews: Teams constantly evaluate performance against customer-focused metrics like delivery times, error rates, or NPS (Net Promoter Score).

• Customer-Focused Meetings: In product or project meetings, someone will always ask, “How does this help the customer?”

• Encouragement to Innovate: Employees are empowered to propose new ideas that improve the customer experience, even if they challenge the status quo.

Advice from Amazon Employees

Former Amazon manager John Rossman, author of The Amazon Way, advises candidates to show they can think like an owner. “Don’t wait to be told what to do. At Amazon, you’re expected to proactively find ways to make things better for the customer.”

A recent hire shared their experience: “During my interview, I emphasized how I identified a flaw in our team’s process and fixed it to save customers hours of troubleshooting. They loved that I could see the problem from the customer’s side.”

Final Thoughts: Are You Ready for Amazon?

At Amazon, Customer Obsession shapes every decision. To thrive, you must make it a core part of how you work, solve problems, and engage with others.

As you prepare for your interview or your first day, ask yourself this: If the customer were in the room, would they be proud of the decision I’m making? If you can honestly answer “yes,” you’re already on your way to thriving at Amazon.

Don’t forget to signup for my newsletter below to stay in touch. Why? Because, I have an assembly line of posts like this that will culminate in a polished giveaway — just as a token of appreciation for your time and most importantly to help advance your career. You, my reader, are the reason we exist.

Don’t forget to signup for LeaderHub weekly Office Hours if you want to know more about Engineering Leadership at AWS.

You can also book a FREE 30-minute consultation to ask any question you may have about a career at Amazon, Meta, or Google.

‘Tis the season of AWS re:Invent! I had a front-row seat to this incredible event for five unforgettable years.

AWS re:Invent 2024 is in progress.

When you think of re:Invent, the first images that come to mind might be the Venetian, larger-than-life keynotes, and the frenzy of new service announcements. But for those of us in the trenches—Solution Architects (SAs)—re:Invent is much more than an annual conference. It’s a culmination of hard work, collaboration, and moments that redefine cloud computing.

Between 2014 and 2019, I had the privilege of attending five re:Invents, witnessing firsthand the exponential growth of AWS services (from 30 to over 175 in that short span!) and the evolution of the event itself. Here’s what it’s like to be an SA at re:Invent, from the breakneck pace to the after-parties—and everything in between.

The following is my personal account of re:Invent.

Panoramic shoot of the Keynote hall at re:Invent

CEO Keynotes

Let’s start with the keynote. Andy Jassy’s addresses were the crown jewel—hours packed with groundbreaking announcements. Each year, you’d feel the pulse of AWS innovation speeding up.

Then came Werner Vogels, Amazon’s CTO, with his engineering deep dives. Whether it was discussing distributed systems or real-world customer use cases, he painted a vivid picture of how AWS was transforming industries. Occasionally, James Hamilton joined the stage, giving us goosebumps as he unraveled the enormity of AWS infrastructure.

One year, Jassy unveiled a suite of services that sent shockwaves through the industry. As SAs, we were tasked with quickly understanding these tools and preparing to support customers in deploying them—sometimes within hours of the announcements.

Breakout and Builder Sessions

Hundreds of breakout sessions spread across venues like Venetian, Mirage, and Aria turned the Strip into a tech mecca. These sessions ranged from beginner walkthroughs of new services to advanced deep dives for hardcore builders.

I proctored and led dozens of builder sessions where we helped attendees create real-world solutions. It wasn’t just about showcasing AWS’s power; it was about empowering attendees to take that power home. Many of these sessions were driven by the code samples and demos I built throughout the year, tailored for specific customer needs.

Armed to the teeth for the booth patrol and answer one-of-a-kind questions

The Booth Marathon

If you’ve ever visited the AWS service booths, you know the energy is electric. For SAs, booth duty was an endurance sport. One minute you’d explain Lambda to a startup founder, and the next, you’d discuss compliance frameworks with an enterprise CTO.

Visiting partner booths was equally enlightening. AWS partners, from ISVs to consulting firms, showcased innovations built on AWS. These interactions weren’t just about learning—they were opportunities to forge connections that would drive business for years to come.

Networking at Its Best

For SAs, re:Invent was a golden opportunity to network—not just with customers and partners but with AWS service and engineering teams.

During one memorable session, a customer voiced a critical feature request for a new service. I connected them directly with the service team, and that feedback eventually made its way into the product roadmap. That’s the kind of impact SAs could have at re:Invent: turning customer needs into real solutions.

Private Previews and Product Insights

At AWS, information is distributed on a need-to-know basis. That means re:Invent was often the first time we’d get a hands-on preview of upcoming services. Private preview sessions gave us the chance to provide input on features and even shape the roadmap based on customer demand.

I’ll never forget a private preview where the team unveiled a machine learning service. We provided feedback from customers who’d been asking for exactly that capability—and within a few months, it launched with those features included.

Finding water on Mars

IMHO: These hills are the closest thing to Mars on Earth ;)

Finding water on Mars? Well, almost. That’s me holding a bottle of water near the red hills of Las Vegas, not far from the Hoover Dam. The terrain was so strikingly crimson, it felt like we had landed on the Red Planet itself. This photo is from one of our offsite adventures during re:Invent, probably around 2016. These offsites were more than just a break—they were a rare opportunity to meet and bond with our global team, scattered across continents. Sneaking in a few hours to explore and connect was something we wouldn’t trade for the world (or Mars, for that matter). 🌎🚀

Big Deals, Bigger Parties

Re:Invent wasn’t just about learning and networking—it was about action. VP- and executive-level meetings set the stage for major deals, from massive data center migrations to cutting-edge analytics implementations.

And when the work was done? We celebrated. AWS’s “Work hard, play hard” ethos came alive with frugal-yet-lavish parties at some of the Strip’s finest venues. One night, after an intense day of meetings, I found myself at a table with industry leaders, sharing stories over Michelin-starred dishes.

My partner team at AWS

Learning, Growing, and Gifting

Re:Invent wasn’t just an opportunity for customers—it was a chance for SAs to grow. From pop quizzes and trivia with peers to earning certifications and rocking gold jackets, the week was a celebration of knowledge.

And of course, the swag. On the last day, it was a race to collect goodies from partner booths. I didn’t buy T-shirts or hoodies for months after returning home!

The Spirit of re:Invent

At its core, re:Invent is more than a sales and marketing event. It’s where ideas are born, partnerships are forged, and careers are transformed. As a Solution Architect, it was a privilege to be at the center of it all, answering questions, easing concerns, and helping customers and partners achieve what seemed impossible.

The spirit of re:Invent isn’t just about celebrating innovation—it’s about living it. You work hard, you achieve something bigger than yourself, and then you party like there’s no tomorrow.

And that’s what makes re:Invent unforgettable.

Ready to dive deeper into AWS innovation and the life of a Solution Architect? Let’s connect. Share your thoughts below or drop by my newsletter for more 🚀

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What Software Development Managers at Amazon Really Do

The Software Development Manager (SDM) role at Amazon is a masterclass in balancing tactical execution with strategic vision. It’s not just a job—it’s a mission. From defining team culture to innovating on behalf of customers, every decision carries weight, and every action sets a precedent.

When I joined Amazon as an SDM in 2021, I quickly learned this was more than managing timelines or wrangling engineers. It was about creating impact—on the team, the customer, and the business. Here’s a deep dive into what this role entails, with real anecdotes to show you the human side of leading at Amazon.

Amazon SDM is a multi-faceted role with wide scope and accountability

1. Defining Team Identity: Tenets and Charters

When I joined my first team, the first challenge wasn’t technical—it was cultural. We were a group of talented individuals but lacked a shared understanding of what we stood for. So, I gathered the team to define our tenets and charter, the core principles guiding our decision-making.

One tenet we agreed on was: “We value correctness over speed when it matters.”

It wasn’t just lip service. During a critical release, this tenet became our North Star. A partner team requested a faster turnaround on a new feature, but we held firm, ensuring the output met our high standards. This clarity avoided chaos, built trust with our stakeholders, and solidified our team’s reputation.

Defining tenets isn’t just an exercise in alignment—it’s an investment in decision-making for when things get messy.

2. Balancing the Tactical and Strategic

Imagine you’re managing two timelines simultaneously. One is the here-and-now—your operational plans, release schedules, and on-call rotations. The other is the long game—a three-year strategy that maps out not just where your team will be but what kind of impact it will create.

I set up an internal wiki for our team at w.amazon.com. This wasn’t just documentation—it was our contract with the rest of Amazon. It outlined our release schedules, support protocols, and engagement rules.

One time, a VP reached out after reviewing our wiki and said, “Your documentation saved me two hours of back-and-forth.” That’s the kind of efficiency Amazon thrives on.

On the strategic side, I broke down our three-year vision into roadmaps spanning 12–24 months. One of the most rewarding projects was an innovative analytics pipeline that improved query response times by 50%. Getting there required meticulous resource planning and aligning with multiple teams.

3. Working Backwards from the Customer

At Amazon, the customer isn’t just king—they’re the only priority. One of my favorite examples was leading the development of PartiQL-Scribe, an open-source application layer transpiler.

The idea stemmed from a customer pain point: managing fine-grained access controls across disparate data sources. After months of planning, prototyping, and navigating organizational red tape, we delivered a solution that unified multiple SQL dialects into one cohesive framework.

I remember spending late nights refining our PRFAQ document, preparing for reviews with Distinguished Engineers. The feedback was brutal but invaluable. When the feature launched, a customer’s feedback summed it up perfectly: “This just saved us weeks of work.”

4. Leading Operations Like a Pro

Operations aren’t just about keeping the lights on—they’re about building trust. I defined our on-call rotation policy to ensure every team member was supported, not overwhelmed.

One memorable moment was during a high-severity outage. Our system went down during peak traffic, and I had to step in to coordinate the response. Thanks to our well-documented support protocols, we restored service in record time. The postmortem revealed areas for improvement, but also underscored how preparation turns crises into learning opportunities.

5. Growing and Empowering the Team

Growing a team isn’t just about headcount—it’s about capability. Over two years, I hired new engineers, mentored interns, and championed promotions for three team members.

One intern, in particular, stood out. They built a prototype for a real-time data visualization tool that surpassed everyone’s expectations. Watching them grow from a nervous college student to a confident professional was incredibly rewarding.

Empowerment wasn’t just a buzzword—it was a philosophy. Weekly 1:1s became a space for candid conversations about career goals and challenges. One of my engineers told me, “I’ve never felt this supported in my career.” That’s the power of intentional leadership.

6. Building Consensus and Resolving Conflicts

Consensus-building at Amazon can feel like navigating a labyrinth. As an SDM, I facilitated discussions to align our roadmap with broader organizational goals, often acting as the mediator between competing priorities.

One such instance involved negotiating service ownership boundaries with a partner team. It wasn’t easy—hours of debate and dozens of revisions later, we reached an agreement that allowed both teams to thrive. The key? Staying solution-oriented and inviting diverse perspectives.

7. Ruthless Prioritization and Focus

Here’s a hard truth: You can’t do it all. I had to make tough calls, shelving projects that didn’t align with our core objectives.

One time, I had to convince my team to drop a promising initiative to focus on a higher-impact project. It wasn’t easy—people were emotionally invested. But by showing the bigger picture and ensuring transparency, we rallied around the new priority.

8. Operational and Strategic Reviews

Amazon runs on reviews. Weekly and monthly reviews weren’t just checkpoints—they were opportunities to pivot, refine, and adapt.

During one monthly review, we identified a bottleneck in our deployment pipeline. Within weeks, we implemented a fix that reduced deployment times by 40%. These reviews weren’t about finding faults—they were about driving improvement.

9. Mentorship and Team Cohesion

One of my proudest moments as an SDM was organizing a team offsite where we played a live-action VR game. It wasn’t just fun—it was team-building disguised as entertainment.

I also encouraged every team member to find a mentor, creating a culture of continuous growth. One of my engineers said, “This mentorship program transformed how I approach problem-solving.” That’s the ripple effect of investing in people.

10. Expanding Influence Beyond the Team

An SDM’s impact doesn’t end with their team. By collaborating with Principal and Senior Engineers, I influenced technical decisions that shaped roadmaps across multiple teams.

One example? Proposing a shared library for analytics that became a standard across five teams. It wasn’t just a technical win—it was a testament to the power of collaboration.

The Bottom Line

The SDM role at Amazon is about more than hitting targets—it’s about leaving a legacy. It’s about balancing the tactical with the strategic, empowering your team, and always putting the customer first.

If you’re aspiring to lead at this level—or simply want to refine your leadership skills—remember this: Great leadership is about building others up, making bold decisions, and staying true to your principles.

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Why Your Software Isn’t as Great as You Think (And How to Fix It)

Let’s cut to the chase. You’ve spent months crafting this new feature. The code is clean, the interface is slick, and you’re convinced it’s going to disrupt the industry. But when you launch, users treat it like a pop-up ad on a dial-up connection. What happened?

According to Jeff Bezos, customers are eternally dissatisfied and that opens doors to innovating on their behalf.

Before Amazon, I remember leading a development team where we built this state-of-the-art scheduling tool. We were so focused on outdoing our competitors—adding more features, integrating the latest tech—that we forgot to ask our users what they actually needed. The result? A bloated product that nobody wanted to use.

Customer vs. Competitor Obsession

In the tech industry, it’s tempting to fixate on what your competitors are doing. They’ve implemented a new AI algorithm? We need a better one. They’ve launched a mobile app? Ours has to have more features.

But here’s a radical idea: instead of obsessing over your competitors, why not obsess over your customers?

Amazon excels at this. Trust me, I would know because I worked with them for 10+ years. They’re not trying to mimic or outdo other retailers. They’re laser-focused on providing the best possible experience for their customers. They’re constantly asking, “What does the customer want?” rather than “What are our competitors doing?”

Who Is Your Real Customer?

This might sound basic, but it’s crucial: who is your customer? For software engineers and managers, your customers could be end-users navigating your application, other developers using your APIs, or businesses relying on your platform to operate smoothly.

Understanding who you’re building for is the first step. If you don’t know who your customer is, how can you possibly meet their needs?

Work Backwards from the Customer

Before writing a single line of code, start with the customer’s needs. At Amazon, they don’t begin projects without a Press Release and FAQ (PRFAQ) written from the customer’s perspective. It’s like writing the end-user documentation before the product exists.

This approach forces you to think about the problem you’re solving, how it benefits the customer, and what the user experience should be—all before getting lost in the technical details.

Trust Is Everything

In software, trust is earned through reliability, transparency, and delivering on promises. If your application crashes frequently or your updates introduce more bugs than features, users will lose faith in your product.

Amazon maintains trust by being transparent and customer-centric. For example, they allow honest customer reviews on product pages, even if they’re negative. This openness builds credibility and keeps customers coming back.

Invent on Behalf of the Customer

Customers may not always know what they want until they see it. They didn’t ask for one-click shopping or cloud computing services, but now they can’t imagine life without them.

As engineers and managers, we should strive to anticipate our customers’ needs. This means being willing to innovate and take risks to create solutions that genuinely make their lives easier.

Long-Term Thinking: Beyond the Next Release

In a world obsessed with rapid development cycles and quarterly results, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Amazon thinks in terms of years, not weeks. That successful feature launched today was likely planned out three years ago.

Adopting a long-term orientation means investing in scalable architectures, maintainable codebases, and technologies that will serve your customers well into the future.

Looking Around Corners

Anticipating what’s next in technology and customer needs isn’t about having a crystal ball. It’s about staying curious, keeping an eye on industry trends, and listening to your customers’ feedback.

Developing this foresight is a discipline. It requires you to be proactive rather than reactive, to explore possibilities before they become mainstream, and to be ready to pivot when necessary.

It’s Not Easy, But It’s Worth It

Putting the customer first is challenging. It may mean discarding pet projects, rethinking your approach, or admitting that your initial idea wasn’t the best solution.

But consider the alternative: building products that don’t resonate with users, wasting resources on features no one uses, and ultimately losing market share to someone who got it right.

So, What’s the Next Step?

Stop fixating on your competitors’ feature sets and start engaging with your customers. Gather feedback, conduct user testing, and immerse yourself in their experience.

Remember, there are many paths to success in software development. You can chase trends, mimic competitors, or cut corners to ship faster. But if you want to build something meaningful and lasting, customer obsession isn’t just a strategy—it’s a necessity.

So go ahead, be obsessed with your customers. They might not send you thank-you emails, but they’ll keep using your products. And in today’s age and world of flickering attention span, that’s the biggest compliment you can get. Or, survey. And we all know how fun surveys are. More on that awkwardness later.

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Why some First-Time Managers Fail (And How You Can Succeed)

The best way to navigate a team: Together

How hard can it be to lead a team?

That was the question I asked myself the first time I got promoted. My boss congratulated me, handed me the reins of a small but ambitious team, and said, “You’ll do great.” At that moment, I felt proud, capable, and slightly terrified. The title change seemed simple—just one word added to my email signature. But little did I know, it was the beginning of the steepest learning curve of my career.

What followed were months of missteps, overthinking, and occasional breakthroughs. Leading wasn’t about technical proficiency anymore; it was about people. And people, I quickly realized, don’t come with instruction manuals.

If you’re stepping into management for the first time, you’re not just taking on a new role. You’re stepping into a completely different game. This is my story of learning to lead, and the lessons I wish someone had shared with me.

Lesson 1: The Hero Complex Will Break You

In my first week as a manager, I made it my mission to fix everything. A team member struggled to complete a project? I stepped in. Another couldn’t solve a technical issue? I solved it. It felt good—like I was proving I deserved the promotion.

Then, it happened.

I stayed late every night. I was drained from juggling my own work and everyone else’s. The team had become passive, waiting for me to provide answers. My “helpfulness” had quietly turned into micromanagement, and morale was plummeting.

The turning point came when one of my team members pulled me aside and said, “I want to learn, but I don’t feel like I have space to try.”

That’s when it hit me: My job wasn’t to be the hero. It was to help others become heroes of their own work.

Key Insight:

The best leaders don’t solve every problem—they empower their teams to solve problems themselves. Leadership isn’t about doing; it’s about enabling.

Lesson 2: Feedback Isn’t a Criticism Sandwich

Early on, I followed a common piece of advice: Always sandwich criticism between two compliments. It seemed logical—people would leave the conversation feeling good while still getting the message.

But one day, I gave feedback to a team member about missed deadlines. I wrapped it between praise for their “great effort” and how “they’re so valued on the team.” The result? They walked away feeling confused and unsure what to change.

It turns out that “constructive feedback” wrapped in too much fluff is like giving someone a map without marking the destination. Clarity, not sugar-coating, builds trust.

What worked better was saying something like, “I noticed you missed the last two deadlines. Let’s figure out what’s blocking you and how I can support you in meeting them next time.” The directness was hard at first, but my team appreciated knowing exactly where they stood.

Key Insight:

Feedback isn’t about being nice or harsh—it’s about being clear. When you care about someone’s growth, you owe them the truth, delivered with kindness.

Lesson 3: Listening Is a Superpower

A few months into my role, I started every meeting with an agenda and ended it with action items. Efficient? Sure. Effective? Not always.

One day, I noticed my team seemed disengaged during our one-on-ones. Meetings felt transactional, not relational. Then a colleague asked me, “When’s the last time you listened without thinking of what to say next?”

It was a gut punch. I had been listening to respond, not to understand.

So, I tried a new approach. During one-on-ones, I asked open-ended questions like, “What’s been on your mind?” and “What can I do to help you thrive here?” Then, I let the silence sit. I listened. I didn’t rush to fill the gaps or offer solutions.

The results were profound. I learned about challenges my team was hesitant to share before. Trust deepened, and our conversations became richer.

Key Insight:

Listening is leadership. People don’t just want to be managed—they want to be heard.

Lesson 4: Your Team’s Success Is Your Success

Before becoming a manager, I took pride in my individual achievements—delivering stellar code, solving complex problems, and meeting tight deadlines. But as a manager, those victories no longer mattered.

I learned this the hard way during a quarterly review when my boss asked, “What has your team achieved?” I froze. My individual wins had blinded me to the bigger picture: A manager’s success is measured by the team’s success.

So, I shifted my mindset. I started celebrating my team’s milestones, even if I hadn’t directly contributed. I made space in meetings to highlight their achievements. Over time, the team became more collaborative and motivated, knowing their work was recognized.

Key Insight:

Your job as a manager is to build an environment where your team can excel—and then celebrate their wins like they’re your own.

Conclusion: The Shift from Me to We

Becoming a first-time manager is like learning to drive on a winding road. The rules are unfamiliar, the stakes are higher, and mistakes feel magnified. But the destination—helping others succeed—is worth every wrong turn.

To all the first-time managers out there, remember this: Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about asking better questions, fostering trust, and creating a space where people can do their best work.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present, intentional, and willing to grow alongside your team.

So, go ahead. Lead boldly. Listen deeply. And never stop learning.

Want more insights? Subscribe to my newsletter below. I share weekly lessons from my journey at Amazon, designed to help you elevate your career and lead with impact.

Don’t forget to signup for LeaderHub weekly Office Hours if you want to know more about Engineering Leadership at AWS.

You can also book a FREE 30-minute consultation to ask any question you may have about a career at Amazon, Meta, or Google.